ArcaMax

Did you hear about the employees who left for lunch and didn't come back to work for a year? They didn't get lost, and they didn't have amnesia. Nor were they lost in time and waiting for Tom Cruise to jump into a black hole and haul them back. No, these are people whose perks went way, way beyond two weeks of vacation and medical insurance that pays for online colonoscopies and bottomless ibuprofen.

These people had sabbaticals.

Because the workplace sabbatical is a new concept, I asked my best friend, Google AI mode, to generate a definition. It explained "a sabbatical is an extended period of time off from work, granted to an employee for reasons such as rest, personal growth, travel, research or further education." (I might have gotten more information, but Google AI mode stopped generating and left for a sabbatical. "Awesome concept, dude," it said. "Should have thought of it myself.")

You've probably heard of sabbaticals in academia. After decades of teaching, learned professors get a semester or two to relax and recharge. A form of academic sabbatical is also popular with students on their way to or from college. It's called a "gap year" and affords the student to frolic in idyllic foreign countries before taking on -- or recovering from -- the rigor of obtaining a degree in art history. (The gap year concept does not apply to parents, who keep footing the bill.)

Today, the sabbatical concept has been transplanted to corporate life. According to a recent email I received from Planet Cruise, a British travel agency, some companies are rewarding select employees with the opportunity to take a healthy hunk of paid leave to "pause, reflect and return recharged."

Is a sabbatical in your future?

This is a matter that requires serious analysis. Unfortunately, you won't find much to analyze in the Work Daze Cinematic Universe, but since you've already read this far, you might as well keep going. We'll call it part of your "personal growth."

No. 1: When is the best time to take a sabbatical?

You could wait until your company is really doing well, but considering the quality of your management, that day may never come. You could also wait until the company is on the edge of a major crash and burn, but that might spoil your time off. It's hardly relaxing to sip sangria in Spain when you know that, back home, your employer is selling your desk to pay the electric bill.

No question, the best time to take a sabbatical is today. Don't wait for it to be offered; just pack up and go. When you return, you might get yelled at by your manager for being AWOL. On the positive side, it's much more likely that no one will have noticed you were gone.

No. 2: How long a sabbatical should I take?

You want a sabbatical that's long enough for people to miss your smiling countenance, but not so long that management can see how well things run without you being there.

Considering the acuity of your management, this would be five years. Minimum. Enjoy!

No. 3: Where should I go?

Certainly, there is a world of destinations that you will prefer over sitting in an office. But you will have go back eventually, and let's face it -- drinking Mrs. Folgers in the company's break room is just not as wonderful as drinking espresso at Tazza D'oro in Rome, nor is the view from your home office window equal to the view of Machu Picchu from high in the Peruvian Andes. The best idea is to spend your sabbatical in a place that is worse than the place where you work.

That won't be easy.

If you can't find a worse destination, consider spending your gap year in your office, at your desk. Just sit there and look busy. It won't be difficult, since it's pretty much what you do now.

No. 4: What should I accomplish on sabbatical?

Forget personal growth. You're perfect as you are. And don't try to relax. If you were any more relaxed, getting you off the couch would require a defibrillator. Instead, use your precious time away to focus on everything you hate about your job. The people. The assignments. The vision statement. The carpet. The curtains. The snacks. With a quota of at least one irredeemable, totally annoying aspect of your job every day, you'll come back to work ready to accomplish the one thing you've wanted to do since day one.

Quit.

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Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at bob@bgplanning.com. To find out more about Bob Goldman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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