ArcaMax

As I was settling into bed one night, I happened to catch my husband out of the corner of my eye.

He was getting on the scale.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I yelled at him. He jerked his head around and looked at me with alarm.

"What? I'm weighing myself."

I jumped out of bed and yanked him off the scale.

"You can't do that now!!" I said ...Read more

A state trooper pulls over a car on a lonely back road and approaches the driver. "Sir, is there a reason you're weaving all over the road?"

The driver replies, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident. I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me...Read more

Back in the days of the Roman Empire, the famous Emperor Nero instituted a new game. The players would take those little disks you set your glass on in order to protect the furniture, and see who could get the most distance rolling them across the floor.

They were the first roller coasters.

Back in those days, the disks were made of iron...Read more

This consultant is working on a Web development project for a client, and he's also got a nontechnical intern to keep busy. Fortunately, that's a solution, not a problem.

"Part of the project included setting up about 150 user accounts for the client's customers to log in to a secure portion of the site and download their reports," says the ...Read more

remonstrant \reh-MAHN-strehnt\ (adjective) - In a state of vigorously objecting to, earnestly aggrieved by or opposed to something.

"The remonstrant set of Russel's jaw convinced Andre that she could never persuade him to give her the remote control for the TV."

From Medieval Latin remonstrare, "to demonstrate." The Latin monstrare "to show" ...Read more

Does your organization struggle with the problem of properly fitting people to jobs? Here is a handy hint for ensuring success in job placement. Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back ...Read more

Ten best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk

10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

9. "This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."

8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the white out. You probably got here just in time."

7. "I wasn't sleeping, I was...Read more

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!'

The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?'

'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the Priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?" "Of course. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday. The dryer is unopened and well over the Customs limits; and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way...Read more