Actual Medical Chart Notes
Published in Jokes
- Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
- On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared.
- The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
- The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
- Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
- Healthy-appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
- The patient refused autopsy.
- The patient has no previous history of suicides.
- Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
- Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the last three days.
- Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
- Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
- She is numb from her toes down.
- While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
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