Friend of the show Chef José Andrés teaches Stephen Colbert to make a modern twist on an American classic, the Philly Cheesesteak sandwich. Try the latest creations from Chef José Andrés at his restaurant Bazaar Meat, ...Read More

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Sorry, you must use at least one capital letter.

OK, 1FREAKINGprettyrose

Sorry, you cannot use more than one capital letter in a row.

OK, 1Freakingprettyrose

Sorry, you cannot use that ...Read More

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Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?

Back off! You're standing in my aura.

I can't remember if I'm ...Read More

My wife and I were traveling on the Kansas Turnpike, bucking 30 to 45 m.p.h. crosswind. At the tollbooth, I asked the attendant, "What do you people do in Kansas when the wind quits?"

The tollbooth attendant didn't miss a...Read More

10. Musical Recliners

9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta

8. Hide and Go Pee

7. Simon Says Something Incoherent

6. Doc, Doc Goose

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over

4. Kick the Bucket

3. 20 Questions ...Read More

10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
9. "This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."
8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off ...Read More