Weekend Update: Two People Who Just Hooked Up Discuss the Government Shutdown - SNL

Jokes / November 03, 2025

Two People Who Just Hooked Up (Andrew Dismukes, Ashley Padilla) stop by Weekend Update to discuss the government shutdown.

Two caterpillars

Jokes / November 03, 2025

Two caterpillars are sitting on a leaf when a butterfly zooms by, startling them.

One turns to the other and says, "Boy, you'll never get ME up in one of those things."

When Will They Meet?

Jokes / November 03, 2025

A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer were each given the following problem to solve.

A school dance floor included a straight line down the middle dividing the floor in two equal halves. Boys were lined up against...Read More

Signs

Jokes / November 03, 2025

~ On a Scientist's door: "Gone Fission".

~ On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

~ Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."

~ At a Music Store: "Out to lunch. Bach at 12:30. Offenbach ...Read More

Dangers of Casual E-Mailing

Jokes / November 03, 2025

An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.

When he reached his hotel in Florida, he decided to send ...Read More

Aspirin

Jokes / November 03, 2025

A man walks into the pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?"

"Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist.

"That's it! I can never remember that word!"