Mitch can't enjoy every sandwich. (From "Late Show," air date: 3/12/03)

After Quasimodo’s death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up ...Read More

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen."

...Read More

An American walks into an Irish pub and says, "I'll give anyone $100 if they can drink 10 Guinness's in 10 minutes."

Most people just ignore the absurd bet and go back to their conversations. One guy even leaves the bar. ...Read More

Doctor: You seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork.
Patient: That's because you've got your hand on my watch!

Doctor, Doctor I've had tummy ache since I ate three crabs yesterday.
...Read More

The warden, addressing the three instigators of a failed prison riot, said, "I would like to know two things: First: Why did you revolt? Second: How did you get out of your cell?"

One of the three men stepped forward, "...Read More