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On Nutrition: Corny food jokes, 2025 edition

Barbara Intermill, Tribune News Service on

Published in Nutrition

No joke, I look forward to this column every year. And I cherish the contributions from you readers.

Terry W. from St. Louis writes: “I so enjoyed your column about corny jokes. My mom loved puns and would use them as often as she could. One that has to be heard instead of read is ‘I thought it was an oyster but it’s not!”

Lori M. in New York sent these two: “A woman goes to a restaurant and asks if they serve crabs. ‘Yes, ma’am,’ says the waiter. We serve everyone.'”

“A kangaroo hops into a bar, looks over the cocktail list and orders a martini.‘ Wow,’ says the bartender, ‘We don't get a lot of kangaroos in here.’ The marsupial replies, ‘And at these prices, you won't be getting a lot more.’”

From Pinterest: “A chocolate Easter bunny visits his therapist. ‘What can I help you with today?’ says the professional. ‘I don’t know, Doc,’ the bunny answers. 'I just feel so hollow inside.'”

Professional tip from a cooking show host: “If you can’t get butter infused with the tears of virgin Dutch milk maids…store-bought is fine.”

Another: “Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands and then eat just one of those pieces.”

From Pioneer Woman magazine: “Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food! No atmosphere.”

 

And if you like Australian humor, these are from that country’s Local Food Connect:

“A boy runs into his parent’s bedroom at 3 a.m. and says, ‘Dad! Dad! There’s a burglar in the kitchen eating all of mum’s leftover chilli!’ The dad replies, ‘Go back to bed, son. We’ll bury him in the morning.'“

“Two slices of bread got married. The ceremony was going quite well until someone decided to toast the bride and groom.”

“A man walks into a bar with a sandwich perched on his head. The bartender says, ‘Why do you have a sandwich on your head?’ The man replies, ‘My family always wears a sandwich on Wednesdays.’ The bartender says, ‘It’s Tuesday.’ The man hangs his head and says, ‘Gosh, I must look pretty silly right now.'“

“A man decides to make his own honey, so he purchases 100 bees from a local beekeeper. When he gets home, he counts his bees and discovers he has 101. Being an honest man, he calls the beekeeper to tell him he has one too many. ‘That’s OK,’ says the beekeeper, ‘the extra one is a freebee.'”

“A screwdriver goes into a bar. The bartender says, ‘Hey, we have a drink named after you!’ The screwdriver says, ‘You have a drink named Philip?'“

Care to pasta joke or pun this way? Penne for your thoughts.


©2025 MediaNews Group, Inc. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

 

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