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Dear Annie: My younger sister is getting married in June and has asked me to be her maid of honor. I was genuinely touched -- until she handed me an extensive "wish list." It includes hosting a destination bachelorette weekend (on my dime until others reimburse me), attending dress fittings three hours away on weekdays, organizing a bridal shower with "an elevated garden-party aesthetic" and being available for "brainstorming calls."

I work full-time. I have two small kids and a husband who travels. When I mentioned how excited I was but that I might not be able to meet every expectation, she got upset and said, "I thought you'd want to show up for me the way I would for you." It really stung!

I love my sister, but I'm starting to dread this wedding. I also feel horrible that she might think I'm not being supportive. How do I show her I care without sacrificing my sanity? -- Overextended in Ohio

Dear Overextended in Ohio: Your sister is confusing "maid of honor" with "unpaid event planner, travel agent and on-call therapist."

Tell her you're honored. Then tell her exactly what you can do. "I can host a simple shower locally." "I can attend one fitting." "I can help brainstorm decor, but I can't finance a weekend getaway." Offer specifics.

If she replies with guilt -- "I'd do it for you" -- remember that love isn't about keeping score. Don't let resentment be the memory you have of your sister's wedding.

Dear Annie: My husband has taken up what he calls a "harmless hobby": metal detecting. Every Saturday at dawn, he straps on his headset and heads to local parks, schoolyards and -- most recently -- the beach where we took our kids for years.

At first, I thought it was cute. He'd come home with the occasional coin. But lately, it's become an obsession. He spends hours online researching "hot spots" and even spent our anniversary trip scanning the landscape for "promising terrain."

He insists it's relaxing and says at least he's not at a bar. True. But I feel like I'm competing with a metal detector for his attention. And to be totally honest, I'm sick of hearing about it. Is this truly a harmless hobby I should embrace, or can I ask him to ease up on the metal detecting? -- Second to a Shovel

Dear Second to a Shovel: If he's spending your anniversary trip scanning for hot spots, the problem isn't metal detecting; it's priorities. Skip the teasing and sighing, and set some clear limits. No turning vacations into prospecting trips.

As for his Saturday morning excursions, those sound fairly harmless. Instead of stewing, consider claiming that time for yourself. What's a harmless hobby you'd enjoy?

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"Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness" is out now! Annie Lane's third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged -- because forgiveness isn't for them. It's for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.