ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend always changes her story when it comes to small things, but I feel like the accumulation of all these small inconsistencies is starting to get to me. For example, she was just talking about how she plans to work at the company we both work at for five more years, but then not even two minutes later, she mentioned ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work from home, and my roommate does, too. At first, it wasn't a big deal; we thought we could share the space easily and just use headphones when we had meetings. Lately, our schedules have started to clash, and we both end up taking video calls at the same time. Since our apartment is small, there's no real privacy, and her ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I moved in with my boyfriend recently, and my parents are furious. I come from a traditional background where living together before marriage is considered shameful. My mother won't speak to me, and my father told me he didn't raise me this way. I understand their values, but I think this is a step toward building a healthy ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom passed a few weeks ago. We've been estranged for years. She moved to the United States when I was young in hopes of creating a better life for her children. She sent for me eventually, but I liked the life I had in our home country, so I stayed.

While in the U.S., my mom and dad had my younger brother. We've never been ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: The company I work for is known for having a great work-life balance and an overall positive culture -- that's one of the main reasons I accepted the job in the first place. Unfortunately, I seem to have ended up with one of the few managers who doesn't follow that philosophy. She has a habit of coming in early and staying late, ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I started making pottery as a new hobby, and I love it, but my roommate keeps making jokes about how messy it is. She calls it a "mud factory" and even moves my supplies around without asking, which makes it hard for me to focus or enjoy my work. At first, I tried to laugh it off and tell myself it's harmless teasing, but it's ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend recently moved in with me, and ever since then, my cat's behavior has completely changed. She's been acting out: scratching furniture, hiding for hours and even refusing to eat sometimes. She used to be calm and affectionate, but now she seems anxious and territorial. My partner is trying to be patient, but I can ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My fiance and I dated for a little while in high school and rekindled after college. About a year ago, he proposed to me, and I said yes. At the time, I was living with my parents but spent many nights at his place, so eventually, I moved in. It wasn't planned, but I am the oldest of a family of seven children, so I spent a lot ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been talking to a guy for about a year now. It has been casual for two reasons: He is unemployed (for quite some time now) and struggling, and I am in the beginning of a divorce -- a messy scenario.

We like each other and have enjoyed talking. Being the person I am, I have helped him in different ways, coaching him on his ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: The other night, my husband said something that's been weighing on me. We were talking about my job, and he told me that maybe the reason I haven't been moving up in my career is because I don't have much drive anymore. He said it casually, like he didn't mean any harm, but it hurt. I've been doing my best, even if my progress ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend and I were watching a popular TV series together. The show is based on high schoolers who struggle with substance use disorder, mental health, anger management, sexual exploitation and more. We both were making comments regarding our shock throughout the episodes, but at some point, my friend looked over to me and said ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: About a year ago, my daughter asked if I might hire her boyfriend, who has taken a nontraditional route after high school. Instead of pursuing college, he decided to explore a trade. He's a bright kid and a fast learner, so she thought it might work if he were my apprentice. I specialize in bathroom restoration mainly for large ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got into a heated argument with my dad, and it's been bothering me ever since. The fight started when I told him I wanted to move to a different city for a job opportunity. He criticized my decision, saying I was being reckless and that I should stay closer to home where things are "safe" and familiar. I tried to ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends and I made plans to go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art last weekend to visit the rooftop before it closed (not just for the season, but for the next five years due to upcoming renovations). I was really looking forward to it since it felt like a once-in-a-long-time experience we'd all share together. Unfortunately, I...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend is upset with me because I didn't defend her during a heated argument in a group chat with some of our mutual friends. I didn't feel I should get involved. The conversation had escalated quickly, and I thought it was better to stay neutral. Now she's distant and barely responds when I try to reach out.

I feel caught in...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been a therapist for over 20 years, and while I've found deep meaning in helping others heal, lately the work has become emotionally exhausting. I listen to people's pain all day, and I can feel it sinking into me. Sometimes I come home completely depleted, with nothing left to give to my own family or myself. I've tried ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in a very one-sided friendship. My friend has been out of work for an extended period and is suffering as a result. I have gone out of my way to help by setting up a job search online and monitoring it (he has no computer), by occasionally giving him cash when he needs to buy food and by being as supportive as I can.

The ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been living in my apartment for over a year, and I really love it: the location, the space, my neighbors and the fact that the rent is so cheap. The only problem is my landlord. Every time I submit a maintenance request, it takes weeks for anything to get fixed. I've had leaky faucets, a broken heater in the middle of winter...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend's boyfriend and I got into a heated argument at a dinner party. He made a joke about me being a drama queen and gossiping too much. At first, it was funny, but then it felt like he was bringing up situations that I had spoken about with his girlfriend in confidence. Despite his dwelling on this untimely joke, my friend ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: How do I get someone who believes in tough love to understand that that does not resonate with me? For a long time, my siblings and I have had strained relationships with our mom because of how crass she can be. She has strong and often negative opinions, and she is not shy about sharing them. I was recently admitted to a two-...Read more