Friend Wants To Help Woman Struggling With Mental Health
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a close friend who is always upbeat, kind and full of energy, which is why I was surprised when she recently confided in me that she has been struggling with her mental health. She didn't go into too much detail, but I could tell that it's been weighing on her for a while.
I want to be a good friend and offer her the support she needs, but I'm not sure of the best way to do that. I don't want to overstep or make her feel uncomfortable, but I also don't want her to feel like she has to go through this alone. How can I be there for her in a way that's helpful and supportive without being intrusive? Should I encourage her to seek professional help, or is it better just to listen and let her open up on her own terms? I care about her and don't want to say the wrong thing or make her feel worse. At the same time, I worry that if I don't check in enough, she might feel like no one notices or cares. -- Snapped
DEAR SNAPPED: Your friend clearly trusts you, or she would not have shared her secret. By all means, stay in close touch with her. Yes, you can listen, but you are not a therapist. Be sure to let her know that you have learned that the best way to get help when you need it is to go to a pro. She can find a therapist who will listen to her and support her as she unpacks what is going on in her life.
Remind her that there is no shame in seeking out help when you need it. This is especially true when you have presented yourself in a way that will lead others to believe that you have no problems. That can be isolating. Encourage your friend to get help. It can be completely confidential and is well worth it.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently went on vacation to Spain for a week with friends I've known for 20 years. Everything started off fine; we had a great time exploring, reminiscing and enjoying one another's company. As the days went on, tensions started to rise, and we found ourselves arguing about things that had been bothering us for years but had never been addressed. Small annoyances turned into big fights, and by the end of the trip, we were all more frustrated with one another than anything else. Now that some time has passed, I've had a chance to reflect, and honestly, the arguments seem small. I don't want to lose these friendships over things that were said in the heat of the moment, but I'm not sure how to move forward. What's the best way to mend friendships after a blowout like this? -- Fallout
DEAR FALLOUT: Be the first one to reach out to someone in the group or to the group text and say that it was unfortunate that you all started bickering, but in hindsight, you value the friendships more than whatever happened to make things devolve. Ask them if you can all get together and start fresh. No need to rehash what happened unless someone feels strongly about it. See if you can move forward.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2025, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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