ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just started my new job, and my boss has given me little guidance. When I reach out with questions, the responses are either short, vague or delayed. I was expecting some kind of structured onboarding or training, or at least regular check-ins to help me transition smoothly, but that hasn't happened. Most days I'm left trying to piece together things on my own, and I have no idea if I'm meeting expectations or completely missing the mark. This lack of communication is starting to take a toll on my confidence. I worked hard to get this job, and I want to prove myself, but it's difficult when I don't know if I'm doing things the right way. I don't want to come across as incompetent, but at the same time, I feel like I'm failing simply because I don't have the information or support I need.

I've started to dread going to work because I feel so directionless. Should I be more assertive in pushing for feedback and clarification, or do I risk annoying my boss by asking too many questions? Is this a red flag about the work culture at this company, or is it just something I need to push through as I get adjusted? -- Need Guidance

DEAR NEED GUIDANCE: Sadly, in many businesses, employees don't get much guidance. It is wonderful when companies have onboarding programs, but yours is not one of them. Look around and notice employees who seem to have things under control and who have been there for a while. Befriend someone who may be willing to talk to you about how things work at your company. Find someone who can be helpful, but be careful about sharing how much you don't know. Request a meeting with your boss to review your work. Explain that you know that they are busy, but you want to be successful, and you need a few minutes of their time in order to make sure you are in alignment. Doing this is part of their job, so don't give up until you get your meeting.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am hoping to get back into dating, but I'm a bit of an introvert. Recently, I was out with some friends -- most of whom are in relationships -- and we spotted a few handsome men at the bar. My friends encouraged me to go over and introduce myself, but I hesitated. I told my friends that the men had looked over to us a few times, so I didn't see why I had to approach them. My friends told me that I keep missing opportunities because I am not willing to initiate or do something different for a change. Is that true? Are my traditional hopes and standards for romance keeping me from my next relationship? -- Traditional Courting

DEAR TRADITIONAL DATING: Your friends' encouragement was great. Walking over to say hello is not a marriage proposal -- but it is a great way to break the ice. Sometimes when people are in groups, it can feel daunting for someone to come over to talk to one person. What may be happening for you is that you see someone interesting and that person sees you, but both of you are nervous to say hello. Drum up the courage to make the first gesture and see what happens from there. Dating can be tough, but if you put yourself out there, you just may meet someone special who shares your values.

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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2025, Harriette Cole

COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.