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Sibling Wants To Share Recordings Of Late Mother

Harriette Cole on

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother passed away a few months ago, and I miss her so much. I was going through my phone recently and came upon some audio recordings of her talking about her life. Her voice sounds weak, but it was so nice hearing her tell her stories. It was bittersweet, though, as listening to her reminds me of the fact that I can't hug her or talk to her anymore. Still, I loved hearing her voice.

I want to share these recordings of my mom with my siblings. I do wonder, though, if it will make them have a wave of emotions just as I did. Would it be insensitive of me to do that? How should I address this so that I can be as thoughtful as possible? -- Mama's Voice

DEAR MAMA'S VOICE: You are so fortunate to have found these recordings! Be sure to preserve them so that you will have them for many years to come. At the very least, transfer them from your phone and put them on a hard drive or cloud storage so that you have a copy you can access if something were to happen to your phone. Before sharing, listen to make sure everything is appropriate and relevant. For example, you might not share one if the sound quality is bad and you can't decipher the words or if it is redundant or reveals a tender moment that might be better not to relive.

Send a note to your siblings or call them individually and let them know what you found. Speak of the recordings you have found and ask whether they would like to hear them. Send them to the ones who want them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been getting close to a man for the past year and a half, and the other day we had a big blow-up. I didn't like the lax way that he was responding to me, and I wrote him a note saying as much. He got angry and accused me of speaking to him like he was my child. When I attempted to address the issue at hand -- namely, his unresponsiveness -- he got madder. Next thing you know, he had blocked me on social media, knocked me off of a shared email address that we had and summarily ghosted me. I did not expect this. I haven't heard from him in weeks. I have walked past places where we used to see each other, but he hasn't been there. I know I should just walk away, but my heart hurts. How could he do that? He's a grown man. Why wouldn't he talk to me about the situation rather than completely shut me out? -- Dumped

 

DEAR DUMPED: Whatever his rationale, this man has made it clear to you that he is done. For him, the relationship is over. Stand down. Do not humiliate yourself by attempting to reconnect with him. Who knows why he reacted so intensely? Sometimes you don't get an answer when it comes to people's behavior, but his message couldn't be clearer: He doesn't want to talk to you, interact with you or be with you. I'm sorry, but you need to accept this and walk away.

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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2025, Harriette Cole


COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.

 

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