Unemployed Friend About To Lose Apartment
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is an immigrant, and he has been out of work for nearly two years. He has cobbled together enough money to scrape by, but if he doesn't find a job soon, I worry that he will lose his apartment. He has a few close friends, myself included, who have helped him whenever we can, but it's getting to be too much. I, for one, have a family and am working hard to make sure we have enough resources to take care of each other. I feel horrible, but I can't continue to finance my friend. I have told him about the SNAP program and other social services that can help him, but he's too proud to look into it. Honestly, I'm not sure if he is even eligible, but I do know that it's foolish to let pride keep you from trying to get the help you need. What can I do for him now that I can't continue to support him financially? -- Friend in Crisis
DEAR FRIEND IN CRISIS: I'm so sorry for your friend. Sadly, there are many people today who are suffering. Talk to your friend one more time very plainly. Tell him you cannot afford to continue your financial support, but you are worried about him and think he should investigate government aid. The truth is, though, restrictions on who can receive SNAP benefits and Medicaid have tightened for immigrants. If your friend has a valid green card, he should be eligible. Suggest that he reconsider applying for that support -- for now. He doesn't have to use it forever, but it is there to help people when they are in need.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got a huge promotion at my job. They are doing a major reorganization, and somehow they have decided that I should have an important role in the restructuring. I am thrilled as I have worked overtime many hours to pitch in whenever needed and I have offered ideas, some of which they have used.
The problem is that many of my friends on the job are either not changing their roles at all or are being phased out. I want to celebrate my new title and pay increase, but I think it would be insensitive to do so around my friends who are currently worried if they will even have their jobs next year. What should I do? I don't want to hide my good fortune, but I don't want to rub it in anyone's face either. -- Quiet Promotion
DEAR QUIET PROMOTION: First of all, congratulations on surviving and thriving during this time of financial hardship for many. It sounds like you have been resourceful and flexible, and you are being rewarded for it. You are smart to consider the optics of letting the world know your good fortune. Unless your boss is encouraging you to announce your promotion, now is the time to keep that to yourself. Do your job with your head up. Be aware of what's happening in your friends' lives. Be humble.
You can and should go to dinner or drinks with family and/or friends outside of your job. Don't post your celebration on social media, though. Ask your friends to do the same.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2025, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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