Life Advice

/

Health

Crushing Debt Causes Depression In Reader

Harriette Cole on

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a mountain of debt, and no matter how optimistic I am, I don't see a way out. Work is virtually nonexistent, and it has been this way for more than a year. I have cut back on all my expenses to the best of my ability, but I'm still suffering. I don't want to ask anyone for help, but I don't know what to do. Sometimes I think I would be better off just ending my life. I know that sounds melodramatic, but I don't see any viable options to climb out of this hole. How can I be more positive? -- Is It the End?

DEAR IS IT THE END?: I'm so sorry that you are in this situation. You are not alone, even though you may feel that way. This is a difficult time for many people. Please do not isolate yourself. Pick up the phone and call for help. Call 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or IMAlive at 1-800-784-2433. Talk to a mental health professional who will listen with compassion and support.

According to HelpGuide.org you can do some other things to change your mindset, too:

1. Know that your emotions are not fixed -- they are constantly changing. How you feel today may not be the same as how you felt yesterday or how you'll feel tomorrow or next week.

2. Your absence would create grief and anguish in the lives of friends and loved ones.

3. There are many things you can still accomplish in your life. There are sights, sounds and experiences in life that have the ability to delight and lift you -- and that you would miss.

4. Your ability to experience pleasurable emotions is equal to your ability to experience distressing emotions.

 

As for the financial aspect, make a budget and keep chipping away at your debt. Think about taking on a part-time job or doing odd jobs around the neighborhood for some extra money. You might consider debt relief or declaring bankruptcy. Keep your head up: It will get better.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I gained a lot of weight over the past year. When I was home for the holidays, several of my family members commented about it. They thought it was funny that I had finally gained weight because they are all way overweight and always have been, and I was always the skinny one. In fact, they used to tease me because they said I was "too skinny." Now they taunt me about the extra poundage, and it hurts my feelings. I don't want to be mean to them, but I need them to stop. I never comment about their weight; I go out of my way to be kind to them and to say nice things only. Part of me wants to curse them out. What should I say? -- Weight Gain

DEAR WEIGHT GAIN: Next time you see them or when you speak to one of them on the phone, you can say you need to tell them something: You need them to stop making you their punching bag. Explain that you don't find it funny when they tease you about your weight -- whether it's up or down. Point out that you never evaluate their physicality, and you would appreciate it if they would stop analyzing yours. If they brush it off and say it's all in jest, tell them that you don't find it funny.

========

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole


COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.

 

Comments

blog comments powered by Disqus

 

Related Channels

Amy Dickinson

Ask Amy

By Amy Dickinson
R. Eric Thomas

Asking Eric

By R. Eric Thomas
Abigail Van Buren

Dear Abby

By Abigail Van Buren
Annie Lane

Dear Annie

By Annie Lane
Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin

Miss Manners

By Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin
Cassie McClure

My So-Called Millienial Life

By Cassie McClure
Susan Dietz

Single File

By Susan Dietz

Comics

Loose Parts Daddy's Home Jeff Danziger Ginger Meggs Doonesbury Blondie