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The one test that could save your relationship — and make it thrive

Jim Alkon, BookTrib.com on

Published in Mom's Advice

My wife and I have been married for almost 40 years. In all that time, I can count on one hand how many weekend afternoons we have spent together. She goes in one direction (shopping, show, friends) and I go in another (house projects, the dog, watching sports). I don’t want to do her activities (she doesn’t even suggest I come along) and she doesn’t want to do mine. There’s no right or wrong. And that’s absolutely fine. It’s not that we have the perfect marriage (although it’s close); it’s just that we understand and respect each other’s priorities.

As personal development coach Nick Brancato might say, our internal priority maps, at least on weekend afternoons, are in neat alignment. But all too often in relationships, those priority maps are out of sync. They manifest themselves under the surface but show up in the form of petty disagreements. There’s a bigger underlying problem, which, if not addressed and discussed openly, can lead to frustration, tension and unmet expectations.

Yet Brancato aims to lessen the gap and help partners navigate what can be rough terrain when they do not acknowledge they’re each other’s priorities. That’s why he has written a very revealing and insightful book entitled "Prioritize Us: Unlock Lasting Love with One Simple, Proven Test."

Brancato doesn’t suggest that a person magically accepts the other’s priorities and work to make those the same. In fact, different priorities are totally healthy — but not if they go unaddressed and show up in daily spats that mask the bigger issue.

“The good news,” writes Brancato, “is that misaligned priorities don’t have to lead to disconnection. With the right tools and conversations, couples can transform misalignments into opportunities for growth.”

"Prioritize Us" is a guidebook with steps, checklists and examples to help readers identify their own priorities through self-reflection, understanding differences, and creating lasting alignment.

Brancato introduces readers to the Prioritize Us System, a practical, easy-to-use framework that helps couples uncover where speed bumps reside and how to get around them. He also shows couples how to determine their priorities via the Total Difference Score (TDS) tool, which helps people zero in on their own priorities and compare their rankings with their partner.

What Brancato hopes to provide are conversation starters, meaningful dialogue that goes beyond the numbers and specifically dissects what’s behind those numbers. And to that end, this book is an action-generator more than just a collection of ideas, buzzwords and philosophies.

 

The author outlines what he identifies as the 10 universal life priorities that serve as the basis for examination and discussion: career, communication, entertainment, finances, growth, health, relationships, safety, sex and spirituality.

The author is an admirable communicator, making many points but not leaving them hanging. He explains what’s going on “under the hood” and effectively takes readers far beyond checklists and activities.

Brancato has written more than a book — he has created a solutions-filled strategy to get wayward couples back on track and help seasoned pairs stay current as their needs and priorities change.

“This book is more than just a test,” says Brancato. “It’s a comprehensive roadmap for building a relationship that reflects what matters most to both people in that relationship.”

He hopes readers will discover new ways to connect and grow, not only for the relationship they have today but for the future they want to build together.

“It’s not about achieving perfection,” says Brancato. “It’s about growing together with intention, empathy and love. Life will continue to change, but with the right tools, readers can face every challenge and opportunity as a team.”


 

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