My Pet World: Your pet is the best valentine you’ll ever have

Valentine’s Day tends to come with a lot of expectations.

There are the cards. The flowers. The chocolates. The pressure to plan something meaningful, romantic, and ideally Instagram-worthy. But if you live with pets, you already know something important: You wake up every day with a creature who thinks you are the greatest love of their life.

Pets are, in many ways, the ultimate Valentines. They don’t care if you’re wearing sweatpants. They don’t judge your hair choices. They are thrilled to see you even if you were only gone for three minutes to take out the trash. Try getting that level of devotion from a human admirer.

Dogs greet us like we’ve returned from war. Cats pretend not to care… until we sit down, and then suddenly they’re in our lap, on our keyboard, and possibly on our face. Both greet us with hopeful eyes and the unspoken question, “Is that food?”

It’s all love. Just delivered in different packaging.

Valentine’s Day can be a wonderful reminder that love doesn’t have to look like roses and candlelight. Sometimes, love looks like a dog pressing their head into your leg because they want to be close. Sometimes, it looks like a cat choosing your lap over every other available surface in your home. Sometimes, it looks like muddy paw prints, chewed shoes, and fur on everything you own. It’s real romance, pet-style.

If you’re celebrating with a partner, a family, friends, or flying solo this Valentine’s Day, consider adding your pet to the mix. Show you love them by taking a longer walk, adding a few extra minutes of belly rubs or chin scratches. Give them a new toy or pet treat.

And if this day feels a little heavy for you, that’s OK too. Your pet doesn’t need you to be cheerful or put together. They just need you to be present. Which, when you think about it, is what love is supposed to be anyway.

So here’s to the Valentines who shed, drool, purr, chirp, squeak, and sometimes steal food off the counter. They may not buy us flowers, but they give us something much better: Unconditional love, every single day.

Dear Cathy,

When my mother-in-law passed away, we brought her four-year-old chihuahua-terrier into our household. He and our older dog get along fine, and except for some bad behavior in the beginning — marking his territory and biting furniture — he adapted quickly. But several months ago, he started humping the throw pillows on our couch as if his life depended on it. (He was neutered when he was first adopted.) He’s already destroyed two sets. How can we make him stop?

— Tracey, Oceanside, New York

Dear Tracey,

It’s important to know that humping in neutered dogs is not sexual in nature. More often, it’s a sign of stress, excitement, anxiety, or difficulty regulating big emotions. This is especially true for a dog who has lost his original person and is now adjusting to a new home.

Grief and change can be confusing for dogs, and behaviors like humping or chewing pillows are often ways they try to self-soothe or release pent-up energy. The fact that he is chewing pillows strongly suggests this is stress-related or over-arousal behavior, rather than dominance or defiance. In other words, he isn’t being “bad.” He’s having a hard time and doesn’t know how to cope.

Try not to punish him, as punishment can increase anxiety and make the behavior worse. Instead, calmly interrupt when you see him humping or chewing something, remove the item, and redirect him to an appropriate outlet, such as a durable chew toy, a stuffed Kong, or a food puzzle that gives him something constructive to focus on. (If you have more than one dog, avoid using food puzzles in the same room if there’s any risk of resource guarding.)

Increasing daily physical and mental exercise can make a big difference. Extra walks, short play sessions, sniffing games, and basic training exercises help burn energy and reduce overall tension. A tired brain and body are far less likely to look for inappropriate outlets.

You might also consider using a pheromone collar or diffuser, which releases calming dog-appeasing pheromones. These products can help take the edge off during periods of transition and stress and support a calmer emotional state overall.

Finally, until the behavior improves, it’s perfectly reasonable to limit access to throw pillows so the habit doesn’t become more ingrained. Management is a temporary way to set your dog up for success while you work on redirecting him to more appropriate outlets.

_____

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(Cathy M. Rosenthal is a longtime animal advocate, author, columnist and pet expert who has more than 25 years in the animal welfare field. Send your pet questions, stories and tips to cathy@petpundit.com. Please include your name, city, and state. You can follow her @cathymrosenthal.)