Chancellors of the Lex Checker
The late Supreme Court Justices Harry Blackmun and Antonin Scalia often clashed on matters of law. But they shared a loathing for jargon and overused terms.
Blackmun's letters and papers reveal that the two jurists kept an "Enemies List" of detested words, including "parameter" and "viable." In 1991, Scalia invited Blackmun to join what he dubbed "The Chancellor's English Society."
"The mission of the Society," Scalia wrote to Blackmun, "is to identify and stamp out illiteracies and barbaric neologism in legal writing -- or at least commiserate about them. I am the only other member."
With all due respect, Your Honor, Overruled! As the following "Enemies List," culled from readers' letters and emails, suggests, the Chancellor's English Society is overflowing with members. You might even call it a "tsk force":
-- boots on the ground -- Joel Hack, Bodega Bay, Calif.
-- at the end of the day -- Anthony Cannella, New Britain, Conn.
-- paradigm, closure -- Linnea Menshing, Detroit
-- plate is full -- Ellen Dreyer, Farmington, Mich.
-- impact (meaning "to influence) -- Theodore Gaston, Livonia, Mich.
-- absolutely -- Rob Carpenter, Baton Rouge, La.
-- doable -- Roger Mofle, Brandon, S.D.
-- legendary -- Peter Anderson, Bozrah, Conn.
-- hammer out -- Chris Ryan, New York City
-- Know what I'm saying? -- A. J. Ganz, Wyandotte, Mich.
-- "right?" (at the end of a sentence) -- Janice Hadley, New Britain, Conn.
-- implode -- John McClure, Pittsburgh
-- unprecedented -- Tim Armour, Weston, Mass.
-- thinking outside the box -- Tom Shultz, Lowville, N.Y.
-- tellingly -- Margaret Atwood, Bloomfield, Conn.
-- characterize for "describe" -- Don Wilson, via email
-- kick the can down the road -- S. V. Gross, Douglassville, Pa.
-- actually -- Dede Andreae, West Bloomfield, Mich.
-- artisanal -- Dean Nevelos, Detroit
Emailer John Talbott wants to bust "robust." "Anything and everything is 'robust,'" he writes. "The flu is 'robust.' The flu vaccine is 'robust.' The way people react to the flu is 'robust.'"
My own personal enemies list includes: rubric, double down, off the charts, secret sauce, wake-up call, perfect storm, weaponize, existential threat, reinvent, meet the moment, head winds, seamless transition, curated, transcendent, cash cow, cash grab, toxic, scale up, nepo baby, be part of the conversation, comfort level, heads up, done deal, on the same page, narrative.
As a defendant might have told Justice Scalia, "That's my narrative and I'm sticking to it."
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Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Conn., invites your language sightings. His book, "Mark My Words," is available for $9.99 on Amazon.com. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via e-mail to Wordguy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.
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