ArcaMax

Sometimes, you gotta start the job from the back.

People who used to think President Donald Trump was fighting an international ring of Hollywood-run pedophiles are now twitching all over because they can't get a look at the "Epstein client list." The list may or may not include Trump's name as one of the men who enjoyed the company of girls too young to be high school varsity cheerleaders.

If the list is going to be released, the obvious answer is to fake the hell out of the thing. Get Trump's name off that list with whiteout, bleach, dynamite, anything. I'm sure the CIA has people who could get that done before lunch.

Of course, the general population includes a great number of people who could open their laptops and break down a faked list the way you'd change a tire.

Nah.

What you need here is not a denial of pedophilia, but a justification of pedophilia.

In an America where the Secretary of Defense is a bourbon-marinated wet brain and the Secretary of Health is a brain-damaged ex-junky, the path for redefining right and wrong is wide-open.

First of all, pedophilia hasn't always been wrong. Let's get that on Fox News right away.

Back there in 1776, when our Founding Fathers were shooting the British with AR-15 rifles, plenty of older men married girls in their teens.

If you were 45, and your wife died after years of childbirth, overwork and the occasional beating, you were perfectly free to go out and find a 14-year-old new wife. Why not? You get more work out of the younger ones.

The only reason they made men stop doing that is because the weak, crybaby, insane left wing thinks that childhood is supposed to go on forever. According to those commie lefties, a woman in her 30s with no children is a complete person and not a failed female.

Trump is an alpha male. That means he's rich. If he's an alpha male, then everything and everyone belongs to him. He's got full and complete rights to porn stars, teenage beauty pageant contestants and any seventh grader with a nice pair of legs. You might have to go home to your age-appropriate wife every night, but that's just because you're weak and poor.

Besides, stopping the war on child fanciers is one way we can help the white race breed so that America doesn't get swamped by Jews, Blacks, Mexicans, Hindus and assorted other unwanted people. You get the white girls breeding by the time they're 14, you're gonna have plenty of white children. If you can deport 'em when they're 13, you can get 'em pregnant when they're 13.

You can't be accused of something if it isn't wrong, and that's where Trump's offensive needs to begin in the matter of the Epstein client list.

Most importantly, remember that the girls want it. If they say they don't, it's because they've been brainwashed by lesbian leftists or because they're too young to know what they want or because she's a little tease and she knows what she's doing to you.

She looks pretty when she's crying, doesn't she?

To find out more about Marc Dion, and read words by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com. Dion's latest book, a collection of his best columns, is called "Mean Old Liberal." It is available in paperback from Amazon.com, and for Nook, Kindle and iBooks.