PITTSBURGH — Trust me, I would not even broach this topic — other than a quick laugh — if not for the reporter involved.

ESPN's Jeff Passan is the best insider in the baseball business. Outstanding reporter. Outstanding writer. Great on television. High integrity. Rightfully rips the Pirates and cheapskate owner Bob Nutting every chance he gets.

"How do you continue to exist as an owner who theoretically wants to win a championship and do so pinching pennies?" Passan said not long ago on "The Pat McAfee Show."

One website ran the following headline, amid Passan shredding the Pirates for squandering the beginning of the Paul Skenes era: "Jeff Passan is on a mission to show MLB fans why the Pittsburgh Pirates are a problem."

"When you have a team like the Pirates," Passan told McAfee, "I look at them, and I'm like, 'Try just once. Just once, please go out and try to field a winning team.'"

Well, "just once" is apparently now, if Passan's latest piece proves prophetic. It was posted Tuesday. He began by reporting that it will be another binge-worthy offseason in Major League Baseball, despite pending labor troubles.

And then he wrote the following, and I couldn't help but wonder if AI rebels had hijacked the piece or if I missed something and the calendar flipped to April 1.

But here it is: "Nowhere is [the prospect of big spending] clearer than with the unlikeliest of winter spenders: the Pittsburgh Pirates."

Huh?

Who?

"The largest free-agent contract the Pirates have ever handed out was more than a decade ago: three years and $39 million to Francisco Liriano," Passan wrote. "They are consistently a bottom-five payroll team. And yet the Pirates were primed to spend more than twice that on Josh Naylor before he re-upped with Seattle for five years and $92.5 million in the first signing of the winter on Sunday night — and they're considering other possibilities to supplement Paul Skenes and a rotation that was among the five best in MLB in the second half."

Among those possibilities, according to Passan: elite power hitter Kyle Schwarber and tantalizing Japanese prospect Munetaka Murakami, a 25-year-old lefty "with top-of-the-scale raw power and as high a ceiling as any free agent, domestic or international."

OK, let's sort this out: The Pirates, whose big moves last offseason were Adam Frazier, Tommy Pham and re-signing Andrew McCutchen — and whose biggest free-agent move ever was Liriano at $39 million — are real bidders for two of the biggest sluggers on the market, sluggers that are expected to command in excess of $150 million?

Again, I'd laugh this off if it wasn't Passan reporting. If he wrote it, he must believe it. So my eyes are open and my ears are perked.

But I still don't believe it will come to pass.

Something tells me the Pirates will win the "Just Missed" Olympics this offseason. Passan already says they just missed on Naylor. I'm guessing they'll "just miss" on Schwarber, Murakami and others, although plenty of more affordable options are available. There is no excuse to do nothing again.

Might a trade involving Mitch Keller or a talented prospect pitcher be more likely than signing a high-end free agent?

Other teams are already doing such things. The Baltimore Orioles on Tuesday traded still-promising pitcher Grayson Rodriguez to Anaheim for slugging outfielder Taylor Ward, who has one year left on his contract. Ward has hit 61 home runs the past two seasons. Did the Pirates just miss on him, too?

Passan also reported that super prospect Konnor Griffin is a decent bet to start the season in Pittsburgh and finished with this: "The mere thought of pushing Griffin to team up with a fresh batch of free agent bats and a front-line rotation is tantalizing enough to make the Pirates a team to watch this winter."

Sure is. But a "mere thought" is all it is for now, and smart money says it will stay that way.

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