Life Advice
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Asking Eric: Used car sale leaves neighbor feeling betrayed
Dear Eric: Almost a year ago, my husband, “Bob,” bought a 17-year-old car with 200,000 miles on it from a neighbor, “Jane.” It was in bad shape but ran well.
Last week Bob bought a car with 100,000 miles on it. I put sale ads for the older car on a popular social media site that I know Jane is on, and an ad in the local paper which I ...Read more
Babysitting or Back-Seat Parenting?
Dear Annie: My husband and I have a 3-year-old daughter, and we're trying to raise her with structure -- regular bedtime, limited screen time and no sweets before meals. The problem is my mother-in-law.
She watches our daughter twice a week, and despite repeated conversations, she ignores every boundary we set. She lets her stay up late, ...Read more
Asking Eric: Senior siblings try to find a way to talk without conflict
Dear Eric: My sister, age 86, and I, 84, have two younger brothers, 77 and 74. We have all been invited to share Thanksgiving with one of my brothers and his wife. We siblings are spread out geographically and are not particularly close but not estranged either.
We all agree that “the girls” had a significantly different upbringing than “...Read more
When Friends Pull Away
Dear Annie: My best friend, "Cara," has been dating a guy for about six months who, frankly, none of our friends can stand. He talks over her constantly, makes inappropriate jokes, and once made a rude comment about her weight right in front of us. She brushed it off like it was nothing, but I could tell she was embarrassed.
Since she started...Read more
Single File: Workaholism -- Part 2
The first step in rehab for a workaholic is to say out loud: "I am a workaholic. I've been using my work to hide from issues in my life." Believe it or not, this seemingly simple statement has enormous transformative power; it's a clear beginning. Next, get out your appointment book and a red pen and do the following:
1) On every page of your ...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: Should I keep secrets from my partner?
I recently got a question from someone on my mailing list, not a client (so I don’t know their details intimately) but a person who seeks dating advice, and that question was this:
“Is it good to have some secrets in a relationship? Isn't that one of the many things that attracts a person… a little mystery? Are there things that you ...Read more
Ask Anna: Should I break up with someone I love but don't desire?
Dear Anna,
I'm a 31-year-old man who's been with my 27-year-old girlfriend for three years. We met through friends and clicked immediately — our conversations flow effortlessly and we laugh constantly together. But I'm struggling with something that's eating me alive: I'm losing physical attraction to her. When we started dating, I knew we ...Read more
Asking Eric: Years after parents’ death, friend still hasn’t dealt with inherited property
Dear Eric: I have a friend I'll call "Sally.” She is in her mid-50s and is single with no kids. Both of her parents are deceased. Prior to her mother's death, she quit her job to care for her. Once she passed, Sally inherited most of her property, including her older van, condo and belongings.
She has sorted through her mother's belongings ...Read more
No Closure, No Invitation
Dear Annie: My supervisor and I worked closely together for more than 30 years. Over that time, he became more than a boss; he was a friend. Even after he and his wife retired to Florida, he kept in touch, calling every week or two to check in with a handful of us from the old office. When he was back in town visiting two of his children, he ...Read more
Asking Eric: After missed birthday party, friend stops calling
Dear Eric: I've been friends with a girl for at least 10 years. Recently she had a
birthday and our circle of friends planned on going to a local bar to celebrate. I decided not to attend because I wasn't able to afford a $10 cover charge. I told her that and she seemed to be OK with it.
But then I noticed that I wasn't hearing from her like I...Read more
Choosing Yourself at Last
Dear Annie: I have been married nearly 30 years. I met my husband when I was 20, and since then, my life has revolved around caring for our children, two of whom have developmental disabilities, and for him. He has long struggled with mental health issues and has been unable to work for most of our marriage.
During these decades, I have ...Read more
Asking Eric: Friend’s online dating woes drain the life from friendship
Dear Eric: I have a longtime friend who, at 60, has entered the online dating world after the death of her husband four years ago. She has yet to meet the “right guy.”
She matches with men who are still married, looking for someone to support them, looking for sex only, and the list goes on. When she does have someone match with her on the ...Read more
The Blame Game in Parenting
Dear Annie: I often read essays about how parenting comes full circle, how the greatest accomplishment of all is raising children who grow into capable, successful adults. That sounds fine and wonderful, and I am truly happy for those families. But I cannot help wondering, what about the rest of us?
Some of us have worked just as hard, ...Read more
Milennial Life: You Say Don't Poke the Bear, but the Bear Is Already Here
The city in which I serve as a councilor is not a sanctuary city; however, it adopted a welcoming city solution back in 2017. It affirmed us as an immigrant-friendly city and made clear that our police should not detain or arrest people based on their nationality or ethnicity, nor seek proof of a person's citizenship status, and should not ...Read more
Asking Eric: Neighbors’ car ruins the view
Dear Eric: My husband and I live in a beautiful, gated community with wonderful neighbors. Recently the home next door to us sold and new neighbors moved in. The new neighbors are a very friendly couple and my husband, and I welcomed them to the neighborhood with a small housewarming gift.
Since they moved in several months ago, they have ...Read more
Boundaries Are Not Selfish
Dear Annie: I am a 57-year-old woman who has had many problems with my sister over the years. When my mother was alive, I would call to talk with her, but my sister often answered the phone. If she did not like the way I spoke or the tone of my voice, she would simply hang up on me.
On the day we buried my father, her children tried to pick a...Read more
Asking Eric: Wife’s secret expenses strain marriage
Dear Eric: I have been married to a wonderful woman for more than 50 years. About five years ago, I discovered that she spends more than $4,000 a year on vitamins and supplements. She hid these purchases from me by putting a small amount of the bill on a credit card and paying the rest in cash.
She buys them from her chiropractor who has ...Read more
Held Hostage by Fear
Dear Annie: I suffer from severe anxiety over everything. I am and have been on medication for some time and I do see a therapist, but nothing seems to help. I have my share of issues, but my mind always jumps to the worst possible outcomes.
In December, I had a hemorrhage. The doctors gave me pain medicine and told me it was colitis after a ...Read more
Ask Anna: Should I stay married to someone who doesn't desire me?
Dear Anna,
I'm a 39-year-old man, married to my 36-year-old wife for 11 years. Last month I discovered she'd been having an emotional affair with a coworker that lasted about three months. When confronted, she admitted she hasn't felt attracted to me for over a year and that she's never really felt that "spark" with me, even though we've always...Read more
Single File: Workaholism -- Part 1
When career becomes life and there are virtually no boundaries between them, work stops being the connection it can -- and should -- be. When does that happen? Well, for one thing, when there is nothing it can connect you to. Think about that, please. In the same way an alcoholic hides behind a bottle, you could be using your job to protect ...Read more
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