Life Advice
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Single File: Scott's Words
My son's thoughts have a deep influence on my life. His innate wisdom now reaches an audience beyond America -- through YouTube and private sessions -- and is increasingly valued as this world becomes more complex. Consider his words concluding my book "Single File."
"It is quite unusual for the son of an author to write the epilogue for a book...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: Should I tell him why I don't want to see him anymore?
A question that often comes up is, “How honest should I be when telling someone that I don’t want to see them again?”
My quick and easy answer is that, in the early stages, say four or fewer dates, the perfect level of honesty is that you “didn’t feel the connection you’re looking for” or “don’t see yourselves aligned long-...Read more
Asking Eric: Couple disagrees on whether to charge houseguests
Dear Eric: My wife and I own a guest house up the street from our home. When we’re not using it for ourselves, my wife rents it out on Airbnb. The Airbnb guests pay a nightly rate and also pay a cleaning fee, which we use to pay the cleaning staff after they check out.
I like to let friends from out of town stay there for free when they are ...Read more
Married Life Has Lost Its Luster
Dear Annie: I'm writing because I feel embarrassed even admitting this, but I'm starting to dread parts of my own life that I worked hard to build.
I'm 52, married for 24 years, and we have two grown kids who are mostly launched. Our son is across the country and our daughter lives close enough to drop by for Sunday dinner. I used to look ...Read more
Asking Eric: Siblings stage hearing aid ‘intervention’
Dear Eric: I am 60 years old and have had hearing loss since grade school. I’d flunk all those screening tests. My two younger siblings also have my same type of hearing loss and have worn hearing aids since their 40s at least.
My siblings are persistent in trying to get me to buy hearing aids which they feel I need. Yes, I probably need them...Read more
Weighed Down While Husband is Worry-Free
Dear Annie: I'm writing because I can't tell if I'm being too sensitive or if I'm finally seeing something I've been ignoring for years.
I'm 46, married, and we have three kids (two teens and one in college). On paper, our life is good. We're busy, we're stable, we show up for school events and family birthdays. But lately I feel like I'm ...Read more
Asking Eric: Boyfriend spends so much time with his ex-wife’s family
Dear Eric: My boyfriend of almost two years seems unable to break away from his former spouse's family. The marriage lasted 15 years. There were no children, so he has virtually no contact with the wife.
However, he seems unwilling to refuse any invitation from the family to have dinner, lunch and go on weekend trips to their bay house. ...Read more
Not My Friends' First Choice
Dear Annie: I am embarrassed to admit this at my age, but I feel like the kid left out at recess. I am in my late 40s, married with kids, a steady job and a calendar that looks full from the outside. But inside I feel lonely.
I have plenty of "friendly" people in my life. We chat at school pickup, at work, in the neighborhood, and everyone ...Read more
Millennial Life: Marking Time in an Unceremonious World
The hot take that floated into my inbox this week was that resolutions are passe. Apparently, thinking about "next year" is outdated. We're in this grind of time and marking it arbitrarily doesn't matter. But, really, we time-travel constantly. It's one of the best things about being human.
We can rehearse future sticky conversations in the ...Read more
Asking Eric: Old resentment sour 50th high school reunion
Dear Eric: Why should I go to my 50th high school reunion? I received a phone call from a former classmate who wouldn't give me the time of day when we were in school together. “You need to go!” No, thank you.
The cost is outrageous. Plus, most of the people I would like to see are either not going or are deceased.
During my high school ...Read more
Asking Eric: Letter writer wants to eat strangers’ leftovers
Dear Eric: Often when I’m eating at a restaurant or cafe, I’ll notice other tables leaving half-finished food to be thrown out. In these situations, I’m tempted to either ask if I can have the remaining food, or to just pick it up from the empty table. I don’t like food waste and am completely unbothered by the thought of sharing food ...Read more
Ask Anna: My boyfriend let his family humiliate me -- is this a deal-breaker?
Dear Anna,
I just got back from spending Christmas with my boyfriend’s family for the first time, and I’m still reeling from how badly it went. His mom made multiple passive-aggressive comments about my job as a freelance graphic designer, his sister openly questioned why we’re not engaged yet after one-and-a-half years together, and his ...Read more
As Minnesota farms falter, so do farm families
MINNEAPOLIS -- The dust cloud billows up behind your bumper whether you’re headed toward Katie Elvehjem’s farm or away from it. And on a Friday evening in spring 2024, Elvehjem was dreaming about leaving.
“I felt like driving 95 miles per hour down a road somewhere just to get out some steam,” she said. Her cows were calving, and that ...Read more
Finding Connection in Later Life
Dear Annie: Now that my husband and I are in our 70s, it feels as if our social world has shrunk to the size of a postage stamp. Friends have moved away to be near their children, others are dealing with health issues, and a few have simply drifted off. We used to host dinners, take short trips and enjoy a lively circle. Now the phone barely ...Read more
Coping With an Empty Nest at the Holidays
Dear Annie: I've read plenty about empty-nest depression and how to cope with it, and I managed that stage just fine. I enjoyed my grandchildren and watched them grow into teenagers. But now I'm struggling with something different: how to handle the emptiness of the holidays.
I have two sons. One has always made sure I get time with his ...Read more
Single File: Walking Single File
Married or not, each of us walks single file through life's landscape, because everyone has a "single" part, our unique individuality -- separate and apart from the crowd. Yet from time to time, we may travel in lockstep, two by two, when someone we like comes nearby and walks with us. Drawn by love's force, this person may stay with us for a ...Read more
Put Peace First in 2026
Dear Readers: Before we rush into a brand-new year, I want to pause and say thank you. Thank you for reading, for writing in and for trusting me with the parts of your life you don't always share at the dinner table. Thank you for letting this corner of the page be a place where we can talk about the messy, meaningful work of being human. I ...Read more
Life's Messy Moments Count the Most
Dear Annie: Every December, my life starts to feel like one of those "year in review" videos -- only mine looks more like the blooper reel.
Back in January, I sat at my kitchen table with a brand-new planner, a cinnamon latte and all the determination in the world. I even wrote, "This Is Jenna's Year" in big blue letters on the first page. I ...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: What if I can't tell what they look like in their profile?
As someone who views hundreds or maybe even thousands of dating profiles per week, let’s just say that I’ve seen a lot of dating profile photos. Too many dating profile photos. So, I know a thing or two about a good photo. I know even more about a bad picture ... and how one seemingly deceptive photo can turn into a left swipe faster than ...Read more
Single File: Lifestyle Questions From the Survey (Part 3)
These are responses from the largest population represented in the survey, single parents whose children were at home. Confession: The issues in this section are intricate (and numerous) because of my own years as a single mom. They are irreplaceable in my memory, a learning experience never to be forgotten. (Sigh.) Onward:
--Are you more ...Read more
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