Life Advice
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Ask Anna: My boyfriend let his family humiliate me -- is this a deal-breaker?
Dear Anna,
I just got back from spending Christmas with my boyfriend’s family for the first time, and I’m still reeling from how badly it went. His mom made multiple passive-aggressive comments about my job as a freelance graphic designer, his sister openly questioned why we’re not engaged yet after one-and-a-half years together, and his ...Read more
As Minnesota farms falter, so do farm families
MINNEAPOLIS -- The dust cloud billows up behind your bumper whether you’re headed toward Katie Elvehjem’s farm or away from it. And on a Friday evening in spring 2024, Elvehjem was dreaming about leaving.
“I felt like driving 95 miles per hour down a road somewhere just to get out some steam,” she said. Her cows were calving, and that ...Read more
Asking Eric: Relatives in another country prefer sister
Dear Eric: I send birthday and Christmas gifts to my great-niece (8) and great-nephew (3) who live in another country. I haven't seen my great-niece since she was 6 months old and I've never met my great-nephew. I am not close to their parents, my nephew and his wife.
We communicate via WhatsApp. I ask them what the kids would like and get ...Read more
Finding Connection in Later Life
Dear Annie: Now that my husband and I are in our 70s, it feels as if our social world has shrunk to the size of a postage stamp. Friends have moved away to be near their children, others are dealing with health issues, and a few have simply drifted off. We used to host dinners, take short trips and enjoy a lively circle. Now the phone barely ...Read more
Asking Eric: Neighbor’s kind act creates more problems
Dear Eric: I am getting older. I have lived in my home more than half my life. I raised my children, educated myself, had a career and launched my kids while living here as a long-divorced person.
In the last few years, my body has changed. I now use a walker. My mind works just fine. Many confuse mobility issues with thinking issues.
Today, a...Read more
Coping With an Empty Nest at the Holidays
Dear Annie: I've read plenty about empty-nest depression and how to cope with it, and I managed that stage just fine. I enjoyed my grandchildren and watched them grow into teenagers. But now I'm struggling with something different: how to handle the emptiness of the holidays.
I have two sons. One has always made sure I get time with his ...Read more
Single File: Walking Single File
Married or not, each of us walks single file through life's landscape, because everyone has a "single" part, our unique individuality -- separate and apart from the crowd. Yet from time to time, we may travel in lockstep, two by two, when someone we like comes nearby and walks with us. Drawn by love's force, this person may stay with us for a ...Read more
Asking Eric: Friend’s outburst ruins game night
Dear Eric: A group of seven elders – men and women, ages 60 to 90 – have gotten together once a week to play poker at my unit in our condo building for almost two years. As my husband and I are the only couple, we provide the food, set up the game with chips. My husband is disabled and an introvert, so this is the only way that entertaining ...Read more
Put Peace First in 2026
Dear Readers: Before we rush into a brand-new year, I want to pause and say thank you. Thank you for reading, for writing in and for trusting me with the parts of your life you don't always share at the dinner table. Thank you for letting this corner of the page be a place where we can talk about the messy, meaningful work of being human. I ...Read more
Asking Eric: Sister sends gifts despite repeated requests to stop
Dear Eric: My husband’s family has a long-standing tradition of not buying Christmas gifts for adults, just the small children. It keeps Christmas less hectic and allows us to concentrate on what’s important: spending time together as a large extended family.
Years ago, I suggested to my highly dysfunctional family a similar approach. Most ...Read more
Life's Messy Moments Count the Most
Dear Annie: Every December, my life starts to feel like one of those "year in review" videos -- only mine looks more like the blooper reel.
Back in January, I sat at my kitchen table with a brand-new planner, a cinnamon latte and all the determination in the world. I even wrote, "This Is Jenna's Year" in big blue letters on the first page. I ...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: What if I can't tell what they look like in their profile?
As someone who views hundreds or maybe even thousands of dating profiles per week, let’s just say that I’ve seen a lot of dating profile photos. Too many dating profile photos. So, I know a thing or two about a good photo. I know even more about a bad picture ... and how one seemingly deceptive photo can turn into a left swipe faster than ...Read more
Asking Eric: New friend group brings up old insecurities
Dear Eric: After 38 years of military and Department of Defense service, I retired and moved to my current home eight years ago (in a town I've never lived in before). I became friends with a woman two years ago and she introduced me to her larger circle of friends (about 19 women). Since then, I've become close with her and her best friend and ...Read more
Wife's Memory Is Fading Fast
Dear Annie: I think my partner is slipping away from me, and I do not know how to reach for her without breaking both our hearts.
My wife, "Laura," is 68. We have been together for 40 years. She has always been the organized one. When the kids were young, she could tell you where every permission slip, tax form and missing sock lived in our ...Read more
Breaking Free From My Phone
Dear Annie: I am starting to feel like my whole life is lived through a screen, and I am ashamed to admit how much control my phone seems to have over me.
I am 42 and married, with two kids in middle school. On paper, things are fine. In reality, I spend more time scrolling than actually living my life. I pick up my phone "just to check one ...Read more
Longing to Connect With a Quiet Son
Dear Annie: My son lives at home, but he has no interest in talking to me. He doesn't eat meals with me and my husband. He just stays in his room and comes downstairs to cook his own food, which is invariably a pan-fried sandwich, possibly with air-fried breaded chicken, followed by crisps and a packet of biscuits. It's a shame. I'd love to have...Read more
Losing My Nephew to Family Politics
Dear Annie: My sister-in-law has disliked me for as long as I can remember. I've never fully understood why, but over the years she's made her feelings clear in a hundred small ways -- cold shoulders at family gatherings, pointed comments and a general effort to keep me at arm's length. I've always tried to rise above it for the sake of the ...Read more
Merry Christmas, No Matter How You Celebrate
Dear Readers: I want to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.
Christmas is a very busy time of year filled with strong emotions both happy and sad. The joy and the arguments can each feel louder.
Some of you woke up to wrapping paper everywhere, excited kids, pets eating the bows and a sink full of sticky mugs. You're ...Read more
Single File: Lifestyle Questions From the Survey (Part 3)
These are responses from the largest population represented in the survey, single parents whose children were at home. Confession: The issues in this section are intricate (and numerous) because of my own years as a single mom. They are irreplaceable in my memory, a learning experience never to be forgotten. (Sigh.) Onward:
--Are you more ...Read more
Ask Anna: Am I ungrateful for not matching my boyfriend's gift spending?
Dear Anna,
I’m a 32-year-old woman and my boyfriend (35) of two years is furious with me because I won’t buy him a $750 Christmas gift. Earlier this year, he paid for my daughter’s dental emergency (around $500) and bought me an expensive piece of jewelry for my birthday ($600). (I didn’t ask for it.) He makes significantly more money ...Read more
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