Partner Struggles To Balance Career And Romance
DEAR HARRIETTE: For many years, I worked in corporate America with a strict 9 to 5, Monday through Friday schedule. Recently, I made the switch -- as the economy demanded -- to working freelance. I now work in media and do a lot of event-based work. It is way more fast-paced, and my schedule is completely different every single day. I quite enjoy the change, but my boyfriend, not so much. We've lived together for the past three years, so he's used to the old version of me. He expressed that he feels neglected and that he believes I put my work before him. He may be right. I want to be more present, but I feel so alive with this new career path that I really have not prioritized balance. How can I continue to excel in my career and relationship at the same time without compromising one or the other? -- Workaholic
DEAR WORKAHOLIC: Sit down with your boyfriend and remind him that your life has changed a lot and you are discovering what your new rhythm will be. Tell him the truth: You enjoy the new pace and energy of your work, while at the same time, you are not intentionally neglecting him.
Do your best to strike a balance. Carve out time daily to chat with him, to eat together whenever possible and to have a date at least once a week. Establish new patterns that prioritize the two of you even as you continue to figure out how to grow in your new work life.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in an apartment with very thin walls, and my neighbor has recently started practicing the trumpet every night at 10 p.m. I completely understand and appreciate that he is passionate about his music and wants to improve, but the sound travels so clearly into my apartment that it's becoming impossible for me to fall asleep. I've tried wearing earplugs and playing white noise, but nothing seems to block it completely. I don't want to be the person who stifles his artistic pursuits, but I need to maintain my own well-being and get enough sleep. I'm worried that if I bring it up, I might come across as unreasonable or annoying. It's starting to affect my mood and productivity the next day, and I feel increasingly frustrated each night. I just wish there were a way for both of us to enjoy our space without conflict or discomfort. How can I approach my neighbor respectfully about the situation, or is there a compromise that could allow both of us to exist peacefully? I feel torn between being understanding and protecting my own comfort, and I don't know where to draw the line. -- Noise Control
DEAR NOISE CONTROL: Before calling your landlord, reach out to your neighbor. Let him know you see that he has started a new hobby, and while it sounds good, his playing is starting too late for your health. Ask him if he can refine his schedule so that you can go to sleep at a decent hour.
Check to see if there are noise ordinances in your town that require reduced noise at a particular time. In many places, that time is 10 p.m. If he is unwilling to budge, engage your super or landlord.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2025, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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