Woman Expects New Boyfriend To Pay For Dates
DEAR HARRIETTE: About two months ago, I started dating a guy who makes significantly more money than me. Whenever we go out on dates, he always pays. I never offer because of the large pay gap, and I'm more traditional and believe the man should pay for dates. Up until now, he's never said anything about it, so I assumed he was comfortable with that dynamic. However, the other day, he asked me when I was going to take him out on a date. I laughed it off in the moment, but I could tell he was at least somewhat serious. Since then, I've been overthinking it. On one hand, I don't want to seem entitled or ungrateful. I genuinely appreciate that he's been generous. On the other hand, I don't think it's unreasonable for me to have traditional expectations, especially since he has the financial means. I also worry that if I start paying for expensive dates, it will strain my budget or create pressure to keep up with a lifestyle that isn't realistic for me in the long term. What should I tell him? -- Dollar Disparities
DEAR DOLLAR DISPARITIES: I've got lots of thoughts. For one, I'm old-school, too. I like the idea of the man (or the suitor) paying for dates -- at least at first. This shows intention. Also, when one partner can easily afford expensive dates, it's nice if that person pays for them.
That said, I also appreciate each partner making an investment in the relationship. You don't have to invite him to a fancy dinner. Get creative. What kind of date can you afford? Figure that out, and make that invitation. I know one man who never made the first few dates expensive -- specifically to see if the other person was more interested in his money than in him. Design a modest yet memorable date. You can even playfully compete on who plans a better date. Money does not need to be the driving force here.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I just gave birth a month ago, and my husband wants to change our daughter's name. We named her Rose, and he keeps claiming that she doesn't look like a Rose to him and that we should name her Ella. I don't know where he's getting this idea that we need to rename our daughter; I think that Rose suits her well. At first, I thought he was joking, but he's brought it up multiple times. He's even started casually referring to her as Ella at home to "see if it sticks." This upsets me. Our daughter is already a month old. We've announced her name to family and friends, ordered personalized items and begun building her identity around the name Rose. My husband insists it's not a big deal and that she's young enough that it won't matter. He says we should pick a name that feels completely right to both of us, and that he's having second thoughts. Is this something I should seriously consider for the sake of compromise? -- Name Change
DEAR NAME CHANGE: Your husband is right that it doesn't matter at all for your daughter right now. What matters is how the two of you resolve it. Find out what appeals to him about Ella. Consider adding Ella as a middle name (even if she has one already). This doesn't have to be a deal-breaker.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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