When I saw my parents recently, I thought it would be fun, both as a dating coach and as their daughter, to ask them about how they met and how their relationship progressed. I always knew some details, but I didn’t know the full story. March 16 marked their 46th wedding anniversary, so I would like to give tribute to them in this article.

The main two questions I wanted to ask were these: How was dating different for them? Do they think things are easier or harder today?

They both agreed that dating is more difficult today, which I thought was interesting. (My mom follows me on Instagram, so she gets to read all the dating dilemmas I share!)

I’d like to break it down into two categories: meeting people and actually dating.

Meeting people

Meeting—or rather, having access to people—is definitely easier today. Before, you either had to live near each other (which my parents did, in the same apartment complex), work together or get set up by friends.

Now, all of those are still viable options (although the working together bit gets dicey), yet the option that provides the most efficient way to meet the most people is, of course, online dating. Online dating is an aggregation of single people who have decided to put themselves out there in a similar way. There’s no wondering whether they are available (we hope), so it cuts out the guessing game of trying to figure out who is single and looking.

Now that we have established that finding available people to date, simply by more access, is easier, let’s talk about the second part — dating itself.

Dating

In my parents’ generation and before, there were some major differences in how people date. Most dated for marriage. It was a straight path — meet, date, fall in love (hopefully), get married, have kids.

Now, while many still want this route, there are additional options that are slowly becoming more socially acceptable, like casual dating, dating without the intent of marriage, not having children, and ethical nonmonogomy. Why do I mention this? Because it becomes a question of someone’s intentions.

I believe that when my parents met, marriage was the natural path for them. Today, while one person on Bumble may want marriage, the next just broke up with a significant other and just wants to fool around for a while. Did people want the latter a generation ago, too? Maybe. But either people were too shy to say it, or the options just weren’t as readily available.

How about “the paradox of choice,” which Barry Schwartz, who coined the term, describes as “the fact that in western developed societies, a large amount of choice is commonly associated with welfare and freedom but too much choice causes the feeling of less happiness, less satisfaction and can even lead to paralysis.” This definitely happens to many people online, and I see it every day with my clients. They find someone who has 95% of the qualities they are looking for, but they still want to search for that 100%. More more more, better better better.

Is it wrong to want the best fit for yourself? Who am I to say? But is it realistic? I am certainly not saying to settle because I believe complacency has no place in our lives, but I am saying that it’s often worth giving people a chance before deciding that your next date is just a swipe away. I know it’s tempting to look for the greener grass. But sometimes the grass on the other side is just as green… or even a little brown.

There is no conclusion here except to say that each generation has its pros and cons when it comes to dating. Fifty years from now, who knows what will be the norm? Our grandchildren may laugh at “swiping” at potential dates on our phone, and traditional marriage may be rarer than ever. Perhaps they’ll take a cue from "Black Mirror" and come up with an algorithm to determine compatibility, and dating itself will be a thing of the past! One thing is certain: Dating will never stop evolving.

©2026 Tribune Content Agency, LLC