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Small Goals Build Big Dreams

Jim Daly on

Q: I have some big goals in life. But sometimes I get almost overwhelmed by the scale of the things I want to accomplish. How can I keep my momentum and focus?

Jim: Some years back I was watching a television broadcast of the U.S. Open -- one of professional golf's biggest tournaments. As the final round was getting underway, somebody asked broadcaster (and golfer) Paul Azinger what the players needed to focus on to play well and have a shot at winning. Azinger replied: "If you want to achieve big things, you have to dream small."

Paul Azinger knows a few things about achieving big goals: He won 12 tournaments on the PGA Tour, including two Championships, and followed his active playing career by becoming a highly successful broadcast analyst. What he meant by "dream small" was that golfers need to play their game one shot at a time. If they get too far ahead of themselves, they'll lose focus on the shot right in front of them.

Regardless of your pursuit in life, that's good advice. Baseball players take games one pitch at a time. For football players, it's one play at a time. In marriage and parenting, it's one day at a time, one decision at a time, one moment of connection at a time. You can wait for your marriage to be better "someday," or you can take action and make it better today. Sure, go ahead and plan for your children's future -- but don't miss the simple opportunities to invest in their lives right now.

Whether it's winning a golf tournament, building a successful career or creating a marriage and family that thrives, if you want to achieve big things, you have to dream small.

For tips and tools to help your household flourish, see FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: I'm a simple person. So, I need a simple, basic way to improve my relationship with my spouse. Any suggestions?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: First, let's be real: Just like anything else worthwhile in life, a good marriage takes work. If you really want to improve your relationship, "simple and basic" is a decent start -- but don't settle for "easy."

In that context, the spoken word is incredibly powerful in marriage. Our words can either strip our relationship of its life and vitality, or help it blossom and thrive for years to come.

 

Far too many couples fall into an unhealthy pattern of speaking harsh and insensitive words. We all tend to get saturated with all the little irritations that accumulate throughout the day. Then we get home and those frustrations spill over onto the easiest target -- usually our spouse.

If that sounds like your marriage, there's good news -- it doesn't have to be that way. With a little planning and effort, you can use your words for an entirely different purpose. You can learn the art of affirming your mate.

Now, don't misunderstand. By "affirmation," I'm not suggesting manipulative flattery or sweet talk. Instead, make a concerted effort to look for the good in your spouse -- and honestly nurture them with your words.

Ladies: does your husband like to work on projects around the house? Make a point of commending him for his craftsmanship and attention to detail. Guys: does your wife have a unique way of rallying the family with special outings and fun games? Praise her for it -- in front of the kids. There are countless different ways you can do this. But whatever you do, build each other up instead of tearing each other down. It really comes down to the Golden Rule: Treat your spouse the way you want to be treated. Your marriage will benefit.

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Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

Copyright 2025 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)


COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.

 

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