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Q: My two kids are in elementary school. They're both really smart and seem to get along well with peers and teachers. But occasionally they go through rough patches where they're moody and just not keeping up with schoolwork the way I know they can. What can we do?

Jim: There could be a variety of explanations, but I'd start with a simple question: Are your kids getting enough rest? Ample sleep is one of the biggest (and yet neglected) secrets to a child's health and well-being.

Some years back, researchers from the University of Chicago studied the sleep patterns of children between the ages of 4 and 10. They found that most of our kids are sleep-deprived -- usually because of the busy schedules we adults expect them to follow. After a long day in the classroom, they still have homework and various after-school activities ... not to mention the lure of electronic screens.

Ideally, in this age range children should get between 10 and 12 hours of sleep every night. But on average, most only get between eight and nine hours. That may not sound like much of a difference, but even short gaps in sleep can impact a child's mood, brain development and eating patterns. In fact, erratic bedtimes and general lack of sleep are thought to be an often-overlooked cause of binge eating in children.

Benjamin Franklin once famously said, "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise." Hundreds of years later, science is proving Franklin was correct. Most children probably need more sleep than they're currently getting. (In fact, we ALL do).

So I'd suggest consider pulling back a little on your kids' schedule when you can -- and make sure their bedtimes are somewhat structured. Also, don't force them out of bed too early on Saturday mornings. Let them sleep in and get a little extra "Vitamin Z."

Q: My wife and I can't be together as much as we'd like because we both work crazy schedules. So we've started texting each other several times a day to say "I love you." That's at least something, right?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: I do give you credit for trying whatever you can. At the same time, let's be honest: Few of us would agree that "Nothing says 'I love you' like a text message."

Texts and emails are very practical for some things. They're great for staying in touch with family and friends -- or short messages like, "Pick up milk, please." Plus, telling someone "I love you" is always a great sentiment no matter how it's conveyed.

However, numerous studies show that the most meaningful expressions of love hinge on four ingredients: spoken words, body language, facial expressions and tone of voice. Those are all human characteristics that no electronic device will ever be able to fully reproduce.

In other words, research confirms what we all instinctively know to be true -- and have relearned in recent years. Digital communication doesn't make us come alive like the warmth and intimacy of human interaction.

So, if you want your relationship to be deeply connected, don't rely on your smartphone. It's worth extra effort to physically spend time together whenever you can. Proactively schedule dinner or a walk through your neighborhood. Talk. Laugh. Look into each other's eyes. Even when you're apart, skip the texting when possible and actually make a call. Hear each other's voice.

Relationships have life, which is why love isn't best expressed through sterile computer code. Love flourishes in the presence of intimacy, warmth and human interaction.

For more tips and tools to help your marriage thrive, see FocusOnTheFamily.com/Marriage.

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Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

Copyright 2025 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)

COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.