Humor

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Entertainment

Thrill of the Chase

Humor / Jokes /

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Wife Wanted

Humor / Jokes /

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."

Next day he received a hundred letters.They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Better Relationship

Humor / Jokes /

A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this."

"What's the problem?" the docotor inquired.

"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."

"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need ...Read more

A Fresh Appeal

Humor / Jokes /

Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client's case on the basis of newly discovered evidence."

Judge: "And what is the nature of the new evidence?"

Lawyer: "Judge, I discovered that my client still has $500 left."

Graphing

Humor / Jokes /

A student at our high school a few years back, having had his fill with drawing graph after graph in senior high math class, told his teacher, "I'll do algebra, I'll do trig, and I'll even do statistics, but graphing is where I draw the line!"

Undeniable Adult Truths pt. 3

Humor / Jokes /

... continued from above

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as ...Read more

Undeniable Adult Truths pt. 2

Humor / Jokes /

... continued from above

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You ...Read more

Romantic Text pt. 2

Humor / Jokes /

... continued from above

"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."

The husband texted back to her: "I'm on the toilet. Please advise."

Skeleton

Humor / Jokes /

I was helping a buddy of mine, who was an orthopedic surgeon, move to his new office, and using my car to help transport some of his office equipment.

I had decided to position his somewhat fragile display skeleton strapped into the back seat of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat...

At one traffic light, the stares of the ...Read more

Things to Say to Ruin a Date

Humor / Jokes /

There are lots of ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to say on a date...

I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.

I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you.

I used to come here all the time with my ex.

Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he ...Read more

Why Conan O’Brien Turned Down a $28 Million Offer From Fox (2015)

Humor / Jokes /

Conan O'Brien shares details about the infamous "Tonight Show" conflict and why he turned down a $28 million deal to move to Fox.

Tall Tales! Arnold Schwarzenegger's Andre the Giant & Wilt Chamberlain Stories | The Rich Eisen Show

Humor / Jokes /

Arnold Schwarzenegger joins Rich Eisen in-studio for a round of ‘Celebrity True or False’ where he shares a story about Andre the Giant once picking him up like a rag doll, and making ‘Running Man’ and ‘Conan the Barbarian’ with NFL and NBA legends Jim Brown and Wilt Chamberlain.

Adam Sandler Hates Getting Dressed Up | Extended Interview | The Graham Norton Show

Humor / Jokes /

An exclusive extended interview with comedy legend, #AdamSandler, ahead of his highly anticipated sequel #HappyGilmore2

Meet Scott Jennings: CNN’s Conservative Voice Turned Trump-Stanning Troll | The Daily Show

Humor / Jokes /

Jordan Klepper takes on conservative CNN commentator Scott Jennings, a former White House aide for George W. Bush who quickly ditched his establishment-bucking opinions to spew MAGA talking points for “the fun party.”

Ozzy has fun with Whoppi

Humor / Jokes /

Whoopi Goldberg 1993

Hulk Hogan Makes His First Appearance | Carson Tonight Show

Humor / Jokes /

Original Airdate: May 15th, 1982

Fast Drinker

Humor / Jokes /

A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?"

The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were ...Read more

Army officer training school

Humor / Jokes /

In this particular branch of the Army's officer training school, the instructor was returning a test. The students identified their work by the last four digits of their Social Security number.

In the early hours of a morning, the instructor was calling the numbers. “Four-seven-seven-zero?” he asked.

“Here,” replied one half-awake ...Read more

Advances in Campaigns

Humor / Jokes /

Campaigns have finally arrived in the 21st century. They can produce bull**** at the same rate as actual bulls!

Lewis Black

 

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