Life Advice
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This Week's Edition Of 'girl, You Deserve Better'
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband was invited to go out of town for a "boys weekend" with a couple of his old friends. When he arrived, he was greeted not only by his friends, but also their wives.
Our kids called him several hours after he had arrived, and that is when I discovered that the "boys weekend" was actually a couples' weekend -- sans me...Read more
Midlife, Heartbreak and Starting Over
Dear Annie: I really enjoy reading your column. I have a problem of my own I'd like some help with.
I have two daughters in university. When they're home, they stay in their rooms or maybe talk to friends on the phone. They hardly talk to me. They go back to school and I'm home alone. I really miss them. They come back for the holidays again ...Read more
Relative Isn't Picking Up On The Message Being Sent
DEAR ABBY: My husband is battling cancer. He has good days and bad days. He is not at the end, but he can no longer do a lot of things for himself. At this point, we are very busy with doctors and treatments. We have 14 medical treatments this month alone.
His children want to visit from out of town frequently. Of course they want to see their ...Read more
Ask Anna: Is my boyfriend's obsession with data tracking optimizing our relationship?
Dear Anna,
My boyfriend of two years is extremely into optimization and data tracking — he logs every workout, tracks his macros, uses a smartwatch to monitor his sleep, and so on. I’ve always found it a little intense but mostly harmless, and honestly, his discipline is part of what attracted me to him in the first place. He motivates me ...Read more
Single File: Scott's Words
My son's thoughts have a deep influence on my life. His innate wisdom now reaches an audience beyond America -- through YouTube and private sessions -- and is increasingly valued as this world becomes more complex. Consider his words concluding my book "Single File."
"It is quite unusual for the son of an author to write the epilogue for a book...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: Should I tell him why I don't want to see him anymore?
A question that often comes up is, “How honest should I be when telling someone that I don’t want to see them again?”
My quick and easy answer is that, in the early stages, say four or fewer dates, the perfect level of honesty is that you “didn’t feel the connection you’re looking for” or “don’t see yourselves aligned long-...Read more
Asking Eric: Couple disagrees on whether to charge houseguests
Dear Eric: My wife and I own a guest house up the street from our home. When we’re not using it for ourselves, my wife rents it out on Airbnb. The Airbnb guests pay a nightly rate and also pay a cleaning fee, which we use to pay the cleaning staff after they check out.
I like to let friends from out of town stay there for free when they are ...Read more
Colleague Doesn't Want To Train New Employee
DEAR HARRIETTE: My company recently hired a new entry-level colleague to our team, and I am annoyed that I am the one who has to train her. She graduated from college last May, and this is her first job. I understand that she is not expected to know anything, but our work is fast-paced, and it's frustrating to have to slow down for her to take ...Read more
Getting Ghosted, Then Guilted, Gets Galling
DEAR MISS MANNERS: How can you be responsible for ghosting someone when they never write to you?
Just because I have decided to accept their silence, and return it to them, doesn't mean I don't care. But what is the proper way to say goodbye? It actually seems worse to do it formally.
GENTLE READER: Tell the friend/spouse/child who is goading ...Read more
Married Life Has Lost Its Luster
Dear Annie: I'm writing because I feel embarrassed even admitting this, but I'm starting to dread parts of my own life that I worked hard to build.
I'm 52, married for 24 years, and we have two grown kids who are mostly launched. Our son is across the country and our daughter lives close enough to drop by for Sunday dinner. I used to look ...Read more
Couple's Long Relationship Reaches Tipping Point
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for 18 years. Everyone we know thinks we are married, but we never got it on paper. He has always been less empathetic than I would like, and there's a lot of stuff I either had to accept or move on. He never buys me gifts (no matter how much I've told him it bothers me), and it has been a ...Read more
Asking Eric: Siblings stage hearing aid ‘intervention’
Dear Eric: I am 60 years old and have had hearing loss since grade school. I’d flunk all those screening tests. My two younger siblings also have my same type of hearing loss and have worn hearing aids since their 40s at least.
My siblings are persistent in trying to get me to buy hearing aids which they feel I need. Yes, I probably need them...Read more
Teenage Daughter Lacks Self-Confidence
DEAR HARRIETTE: My 19-year-old daughter is insecure about how she looks. She cries all the time and blames me for her appearance. I have no clue how to help her because every time I say that she is beautiful, she says I'm only saying that because I'm her mother. She is surrounded by social media images, unrealistic beauty standards and constant ...Read more
The Lament Of The January Baby
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My birthday is a few days after the new year. It's a very easy date to miss altogether in the shadow of December and New Year's celebrations. Growing up, I often received "combo" holiday and birthday presents. I was taught to thank relatives and friends and not complain that it "wasn't fair."
Nowadays, an e-card can be ...Read more
Weighed Down While Husband is Worry-Free
Dear Annie: I'm writing because I can't tell if I'm being too sensitive or if I'm finally seeing something I've been ignoring for years.
I'm 46, married, and we have three kids (two teens and one in college). On paper, our life is good. We're busy, we're stable, we show up for school events and family birthdays. But lately I feel like I'm ...Read more
Family Still Chooses a Side Amid Amicable Divorce
DEAR ABBY: My wife's nephew is getting divorced. The process seems to be amicable; there was no cheating or abuse. They have two children. Even though the soon-to-be-ex, "Michelle," has always been welcoming and nice, my wife's family has circled the wagons. They no longer talk to her and have made clear I can't either. I don't think that's ...Read more
Asking Eric: Boyfriend spends so much time with his ex-wife’s family
Dear Eric: My boyfriend of almost two years seems unable to break away from his former spouse's family. The marriage lasted 15 years. There were no children, so he has virtually no contact with the wife.
However, he seems unwilling to refuse any invitation from the family to have dinner, lunch and go on weekend trips to their bay house. ...Read more
Friend Feels Left Out After Not Getting Invite
DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend is throwing a retirement party for her mom. My parents were invited, so I thought it would be OK to ask my friend if I could tag along. She responded by telling me how much it hurt her not to be invited to my mom's retirement party a couple of months back. For context, our families have been super close for nearly ...Read more
Why Is Everyone So Obsessed With Being Thanked?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Why is it that people see it as mandatory to send a thank-you for a gift? It seems like people give gifts with the sole purpose of being appreciated. This seems contrary to the whole idea of giving a gift.
To explain further, let me tell you how I give gifts. I have a large family that is pretty far-flung. Some years I'm in ...Read more
Not My Friends' First Choice
Dear Annie: I am embarrassed to admit this at my age, but I feel like the kid left out at recess. I am in my late 40s, married with kids, a steady job and a calendar that looks full from the outside. But inside I feel lonely.
I have plenty of "friendly" people in my life. We chat at school pickup, at work, in the neighborhood, and everyone ...Read more
Inside Life Advice
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- Ask Anna: My boyfriend let his family humiliate me -- is this a deal-breaker?
- Ask Dating Coach Erika: How long does it take to get over a breakup?
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