ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: The other night, my husband said something that's been weighing on me. We were talking about my job, and he told me that maybe the reason I haven't been moving up in my career is because I don't have much drive anymore. He said it casually, like he didn't mean any harm, but it hurt. I've been doing my best, even if my progress ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: While acknowledging gratitude for being invited to quite a few social events, how do I decline an invitation that I have little interest in attending? (Yes, I gladly attend special birthday celebrations and all 50th wedding anniversaries.)

"I'm sorry, I can't make it" is honest, but does etiquette require valid reasons for ...Read more

Dear Readers: Every Veterans Day, I always remember a woman I once met in an airport. She was sitting quietly by a window, holding a small American flag in one hand and a welcome home sign in the other. The edges of the sign were worn, clearly used more than once.

Her son had been deployed three times. "He says not to make a fuss," she told ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: After my father died by suicide, my mother moved the family across the country. I was 13, and I never discussed my father's death with anyone.

Now, 50 years later, my best friend from high school has terminated our friendship because I don't support her politics. Her parting comment to me: "I was only nice to you because your mom ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend and I were watching a popular TV series together. The show is based on high schoolers who struggle with substance use disorder, mental health, anger management, sexual exploitation and more. We both were making comments regarding our shock throughout the episodes, but at some point, my friend looked over to me and said ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How does one diplomatically, yet adamantly, state that guests should not bring a dish to supplement your holiday event?

I'm frequently asked, "What can I bring?" I always reply, "Your good cheer and appetite, please!" Inevitably, friends will show up with their award-winning dish and promptly put it on the serving line.

...Read more

Dear Annie: I'm struggling with something that has left me feeling deeply hurt and confused. My older sister, who is 39, has been spending a lot of time with my ex-husband. He and I are still close friends. We have a warm, platonic relationship and co-parent well. I'm not upset about their friendship. What hurts is that my sister has never ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: My mother is 80 and living alone after my dad passed. Her memory is failing. She recently fell and required shoulder surgery. This wasn't her first fall; she has also broken her hip within the past four years.

I installed a camera in her den so I could periodically check in to see if she was OK. I didn't tell Mom about the camera ...Read more

Dear Annie: I was married for 19 years, and we had three children together. Our divorce was nearly 40 years ago. One of the lingering issues from that time was the ownership of our many travel slides, which documented years of family trips abroad. The court divided them roughly in half.

Years later, I paid to have my share of the slides ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: I just left a verbally and physically abusive relationship. I suffer from mental illness, and "Scott" made it worse. We lived together for almost four years. I could beat myself up over deciding to live with him. He's an alcoholic, narcissistic, bipolar, sociopathic liar who swears he's a man of God. Scott kicked me out countless ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: About a year ago, my daughter asked if I might hire her boyfriend, who has taken a nontraditional route after high school. Instead of pursuing college, he decided to explore a trade. He's a bright kid and a fast learner, so she thought it might work if he were my apprentice. I specialize in bathroom restoration mainly for large ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I know you're going to think this is a made-up letter, but I assure you it's not. (But then, I'd say that even if it were, wouldn't I?)

When one has been invited to stay overnight in a home without indoor plumbing, but is provided with a chamber pot (no lid) under the bed, what does one do with it the next morning? Leave it? ...Read more

Dear Annie: My 54-year-old son recently married his childhood sweetheart with whom he had a son 36 years ago. They never married before but kept in touch because of their son. Unfortunately, their boy was killed in an auto accident four years ago.

I've loosely kept in touch with my new daughter-in-law all this time. Last year, she stole a ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: My niece-in-law, "Justine," is a few years younger than my husband and I. We have been best friends for the last 25 years. She's 55 and divorced, with a grown daughter but no man in her life. She's extremely lonely and has only us as emotional support.

During the last year, she has had to move her 78-year-old mother (with whom she ...Read more

Dear Annie: I'm 28 and recently moved back in with my parents to save money after a tough breakup. I'm grateful for the support, but I'm having trouble with my mom's behavior. She constantly comments on my weight, how I dress, or how much I'm on my phone. Last week, she said I'd have "better luck" if I wore makeup and "put myself out there ...Read more