ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: I started a book club around eight months ago, and I advertised it on my community's Facebook page. I was so excited because the first time I hosted, it was a success. More than 30 people came, and the discussion we had on the book was amazing. As I've hosted more sessions, the numbers have slowly started to dwindle, with as few as three people showing up sometimes. Am I doing something wrong? Maybe I'm not choosing interesting enough books, or maybe the timing isn't convenient for people? I also worry that people lost interest entirely and don't feel the same excitement I did in the beginning.

It's hard not to take it personally, especially since I put a lot of time into organizing each meeting, preparing discussion questions, and trying to create a welcoming environment. This is making me feel as if I should give up and stop hosting. Another part of me really enjoyed that first experience and wants to get back to that energy again. Should I try to revamp the book club, or do you think I should stop hosting? -- Book Club Blues

DEAR BOOK CLUB BLUES: What else happens at your events? Do you serve food or drinks? Is there a time before or after you talk about the book that is purely social? Many book clubs invite participants to bring light food and wine so that it's not a burden on the host but makes the event more festive. The challenge there is ensuring that enough time is allocated to discussing the book. Consider adding the social detail.

You can also send a survey to everyone who has attended in the past asking what they liked and didn't like about the event -- including whether they would come back and why or why not.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have a toddler together. We live together and do life together. We are a family, but still, he's just my boyfriend. I really want to get married, but I don't want to give my partner an ultimatum.

When we had our first child, it wasn't exactly planned. Now that we're a few years in, we want our family to grow, but I can't help but wonder why we're on the same page about everything but marriage. When I ask him about it, he says, "We'll get there." That response leaves me feeling vulnerable and insecure about our family's future. We've been together eight years, and our child is 5. I worry that my boyfriend has no intention of marrying me. I've been reading "The Let Them Theory" by Mel Robbins, which has allowed me to relinquish control and avoid frustration, but at what point does making peace with not forcing things become sacrificing things that I really want? -- What's Next?

DEAR WHAT'S NEXT?: Have a serious conversation with your boyfriend about the future. Explain to him that marriage is important to you. You obviously know that he is committed to you and your child, but you are a bit of a traditionalist and it would make you happy to formalize your relationship. Ask him to marry you. Be ready to decide on next steps if he says no.

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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole

COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.