ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my mother passed away some years ago, my brother and his wife placed a stuffed black cat toy in her casket. My mother had owned several black cats.

Months later, I was opening a Christmas gift from my brother. It turned out to be a stuffed black cat. He said, "Do you know where that came from?" Of course I knew! My mouth...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I have a difference of opinion about emails sent from "do not reply" addresses. I say that, in principle, they display poor manners. They are akin to saying something to somebody and then putting your hands over your ears and repeating "I can't hear you" (like children do).

Now, I understand why a business or ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I've witnessed many women leaving their purses unattended in the toddler seat of grocery carts. They will turn their back to the cart to look for an item nearby, usually for less than a minute.

However, a couple weeks ago, I turned into an aisle at the grocery store and there was a cart at the other end of the aisle with a ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Each year, Halloween heralds my own personal horror: the season during which my family harasses me to provide them with a list of items that I would like for Christmas.

I abhor this annual ritual. To me, the value in receiving gifts is the knowledge that the giver took the time and effort to think about what I might really ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am always looking to meet new people and make new friends. But for the last five years or so, I have noticed that people only want to talk about themselves -- their travels, home renovations, work, etc.

I understand that the favorite topic of conversation for most people is themselves, but what happened to a two-way ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I occasionally enjoy having lunch at a restaurant with a group of longtime friends. All is well until the time comes when they want to take a group photo, which, of course, gets posted on Facebook.

I do not post on social media. I do not want my life, in words nor photos, posted. So I quietly say I'll back out of camera range...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A few of my cousins have gotten married recently, and they requested that no children attend their weddings, aside from the ones performing the roles of ring bearer and flower girl.

This request would have been completely foreign when I was growing up. I have found the situation awkward, especially for family weddings, since ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My ex-husband and I have been divorced for over 20 years. We see each other at family functions and are very cordial and polite with each other, as is his girlfriend, who also attends these events.

Neither of us has remarried. He has been in a relationship with this female for many years, but they don't live together.

When ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a man with curly hair. A year ago, I decided to grow it out. Today I went in for a haircut. I told the barber that I was growing it "classical musician" long, but that I needed the bottom of the back trimmed up. I expected it could use a little bit of shaping up all over, as well.

When he was finished and turned me ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: In the era of selfies, I'm as guilty as anyone of holding my phone out and snapping a photo of my spouse and me in front of some interesting feature. Those photos stay on my phone, or maybe on a social media account, but no further.

Conversely, my grandparents, of blessed memory, who never even heard the word "selfie," had ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Dinner parties and entertaining are not the only currencies of friendship.

I frequently gave rides to a friend of mine, who later bought a nice home and began hosting dinner parties. I assumed she was throwing these dinners as thank-yous for those of us who had chauffeured her around for decades, but no -- she was bummed that...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter acted poorly and has now been distancing herself from one of her good friends. This is the second time in a few years she has done this.

I've spoken to her for weeks, trying to get her to apologize and mend their relationship. My daughter has now reached out to her friend, saying she wants to be friends again. The...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am writing this on a flight to Dallas after the flight attendant just served my soft drink. Is it just me, or are other airline passengers just as irritated by the way these drinks are served?

More often than not, the attendant will stand in the aisle, check the drink order list, then grab the top of the cup with their ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: After commuting to the same job for 15 years, 15 minutes from my home, last winter I took a better job an hour away. My body refuses to adjust to this new reality. Even though I have virtually stopped drinking water or coffee in the afternoons, and even though I visit the ladies' room last thing before leaving the office, I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: After a meal at a restaurant, my mother is in the habit of vigorously rubbing both of her hands with one or two lemon slices, squeezing the juice into her palms, pouring water onto a napkin, then wiping her hands. She will even go so far as to shake excess water from her hands onto her plate.

Mother thinks this is perfectly ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was at dinner with two friends, and one shared the terrible news that her beloved dog had been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. The only treatment is to make the dog comfortable for as long as possible, probably not more than a few months.

In tears, she said, "This is our kid," and the other friend stiffened.

The other...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have now been to three (!) weddings where I found out that the couple was already married, and just going through the motions.

The first was a couple who had gotten legally married weeks prior to the wedding so he could go on her health insurance.

The second was an older couple who said they'd never had a "real wedding." ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: On our neighborhood app, one of my neighbors cautioned that two young men had recently knocked on her door. She could see them on the security camera and she did not know them. She thought them odd, but opened the door anyway.

Nothing bad happened, but she felt unsettled and brought the interaction to our community's ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm actively involved in a local writers group. Even though I'm a bit younger than the average member, I have more training as a writer, having earned a graduate degree that has led to a few publications. After joining, I took it upon myself to set up and run the email list that gets the weekly prompts out to the writers. I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a fine artist, with a studio attached to my home. Friends and visitors often ask to see the studio, and I am happy to oblige. Sometimes, a visitor will ask how much a particular piece costs.

This puts me on the spot. I usually say, "Well, I would normally charge $300 for that painting, but with my 'friends and family' ...Read more