ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm actively involved in a local writers group. Even though I'm a bit younger than the average member, I have more training as a writer, having earned a graduate degree that has led to a few publications. After joining, I took it upon myself to set up and run the email list that gets the weekly prompts out to the writers. I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a fine artist, with a studio attached to my home. Friends and visitors often ask to see the studio, and I am happy to oblige. Sometimes, a visitor will ask how much a particular piece costs.

This puts me on the spot. I usually say, "Well, I would normally charge $300 for that painting, but with my 'friends and family' ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have seen a close relative in the news for something nefarious. I know they must be upset by the reports, and I sincerely feel bad for them, as I know this action was out of character.

Should I acknowledge the incident and comfort them, or just ignore the whole thing? I want to let them know things will be OK, but don't ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A few months ago, I met a man on a singles website and we began dating. Things seem to be progressing nicely between us until he blurted out that he was married.

He explained that he hoped we would continue to see each other anyway, because we got along so well. He said he'd never lied to me by telling me he was single, and ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it wrong not to give feedback?

I am expected to "like," whether virtually or in person, every little thing seen, done or eaten by my friends. Every item I buy and every service I use, I am asked, "How're we doing?"

I don't mind this if I have a real opinion, good or bad. But for most of it, I just don't give a (bleep).

...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I no longer give big birthday or holiday gifts. I do this because a family member died after I had purchased his Christmas gift.

Instead, I give gifts irregularly throughout the year, as I make or come across something that a person will like. I might also repair something for them as a gift, or shovel their snow. Once, I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: In 2011, I had weight loss surgery. It was very successful, and I've managed to keep the weight off. Of course, a lot of people think I "took the easy way" to lose weight, but surgery is not a miracle cure, just a tool.

My best friend has a slight weight problem, or at least she believes she does. I sure don't see her as ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live in a rural area where cellphone reception and internet service can be spotty, which sometimes results in calls being dropped without warning.

Callers who are accustomed to infallible technology can be baffled by this. I've even been accused of having hung up on someone! But more commonly, an awkward exchange ensues, ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My boyfriend and I live together, with roommates, in a big house. We share the cooking, and due to shift work and other reasons, dinner can be anywhere between 6 p.m. and 8 p.m.

Usually, when dinner is ready, whoever cooked it will send a message in the group chat to call everyone to the table. (People might be spread out on ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A group of six longtime friends planned a get-together at my house including snacks and games. One friend showed up very clearly ill, with a red, runny nose and a pack of tissues, saying, "It's just a cold! I feel fine."

Maybe I should have been more sympathetic, but I instead mentioned that I didn't want to get sick because ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was at a coffeehouse in my neighborhood on a Saturday morning when my congressional representative took a seat two tables over. I had seen him there before, but refrained from approaching him or speaking with him.

I could tell from his informal clothing that he was trying to fit in and not be noticed. But because he took a ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a dear friend who, every time I see her, insists on greeting me with a kiss on the lips. When I attempt to turn the other cheek (pun intended), she firmly redirects me back into position.

I am at a loss for how to address it. The only silver lining of masking up was that it provided a natural barrier, one she ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A graduate from a Seven Sisters college, who is the child of a doctor and a lawyer, sends out announcements with a link to her wish list for classroom items.

Is this a subtle request for gifts for herself, or truly a wish to stock her classroom?

GENTLE READER: Well ... Are the requests for construction paper and colored ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am on a team in an adult sports league. At the end of the season, the team decided to have a party. One of the members volunteered to host it, but then decided to invite other people who aren't associated with the team.

The get-together is no longer a "team" party. Is it proper etiquette for someone who volunteered to host ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I came home from work one evening and found my daughter on the phone, so I passed her a note. She immediately said, "I am on the phone, Dad."

I was upset by this response, and asked who she was talking to -- to make sure I didn't interrupt anything important -- but it happened to be her boyfriend.

Am I overreacting, or she ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Please settle an ongoing dispute with my wife. When we attend a concert or show with open seating, is it polite to sit directly in front of someone already seated when there are plenty of other seats available that don't block someone's view?

Both of us are rather tall, and I believe it's more polite for us to sit towards the...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm sure you are aware that grief is one of the toughest emotions to process. I therefore believe those grieving should be given a break and allowed to grieve in the manner that best suites them.

What a horrible burden it is on the grieving to have hanging over them the responsibility of responding to condolence letters if ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I enjoy having friends and acquaintances from different walks of life, and have found unexpected kinship with people who hold beliefs very different from my own. In other words, I try not to be judgmental. My natural inclination when meeting someone is to find common ground.

However, I recently found myself in a situation ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What do you do when the duty to write thank-you notes overwhelms any genuine sense of gratitude?

In my own upbringing, reciprocity and eagerness to give were prized over the finer points of expressing gratitude, and I confess that my gratitude muscle has suffered as a result. I am trying to strengthen it by practicing writing...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We are frequent cruisers. That means we share spaces such as elevators, dining rooms, theaters, lounges, etc., with fellow cruisers we don't know. We have always had pleasant times interacting with others.

On our most recent cruise, we encountered an older couple -- sometimes in the elevators, sometimes in our top-tier lounge...Read more